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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Black Bar, Stat!!

Glamour Magazine is famously known for its "Fashion Dos and Don'ts", in which the identity of a Don't is hidden by a black bar across her eyes, so as to spare her the trauma of a public humiliation by calling out her fashion mistake to a world-wide audience. Why Metrosource Magazine didn't feel the need to put a black bar across Kyan Douglas's eyes on its current cover is a mystery to us.

We just did a post a few days ago in which we pointed out the ridiculously outdated trend of knee length shorts, and now we have to pull out the measuring tape once again.

Guys, it really is all about inches. And no, not in the way that you're hoping. It's about length, and Kyan's pants are way too long. Despite what some fashion goofballs might tell you, never, never, never was this "too long pants look" a good thing. Pardon our French, but it just looks stupid. It looks like you either don't own a mirror, or you don't know any better. Actually it looks like once Mommy stopped dressing you, you had no idea what to do. This "bunched-up at the shoe look" was never right, but it especially looks silly in 2009 since the trend in men's clothing is form fitting, so why get a shirt and jacket fitted to your waist if your baggy clown pants are going to "break up that perfect head to toe line"? It's so wrong visually. Kyan looks like one of those Halloween horse costumes that comes in two sections, but for some reason the costume shop gave him a mismatched ass section which was three sizes larger than the head section.
If for some reason, you can't find a pair of pants that are the correct length, they have these people called "tailors", that for just a few dollars will hem your pants for you.
What's most sad about this for Kyan, is that we used to take advice from him about how we should look. Remember? God, where is that nelly Carson Kressley when you really need him?

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