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Friday, May 20, 2011

Seacrest Out! And He Almost Was

One night after Haley scared our cat and frightened thousands of America's small children with her rendition of Fleetwood Mac's
"Rhiannon" on "American Idol", she was booted from the show. Okay, okay, to be fair, even though we're not fans of Haley's singing, being eliminated from "American Idol" has little to do with real singing talent. At best, the show is a popularity contest, as any contest becomes when the masses are allowed to vote. And to throw Haley a bone of sympathy, she should remember that if she really has talent as a singer, a record company will come calling. You don't have to actually win the "American Idol" contest to become a successful pop singer. Remember that, Haley. On the other hand, if you've made this many appearances on national t.v., singing your heart out, and no record companies call, you might want to look into the wonderful world of fast food. Ouch.

Haley's elimination wasn't what was shocking last night, the real scary moment came when her name wasn't called as a finalist. The look on her face was one of extreme shock, and for a brief second, she looked as if she might faint. Then this look of real, maniacal anger swept over her face, and we feared, (no, actually hoped), that she might reach over and rip Ryan Seacrest's face off. Seacrest dragged her motionless body over to center stage and told her to sing, then he wisely made a split-second exit from the stage, no doubt running for the safety of his bodyguards in the wings. Haley sang Elton John's "Bennie and the Jets", at one point making her way into the audience, all the while still wearing this out-of-body look on her face that she might be a female al-Qaeda terrorist hiding a bomb somewhere inside her underwear, and she was only seconds from lighting it up. As she moved through the audience, singing, her eyes would meet certain people's eyes, and she looked at them as if she might gouge out their eyes, or at least launch a well-placed kick between some man's groin.

Poor Haley. No doubt she was disappointed, but as we've been saying for weeks, we blame the "American Idol" judges for her shock and disappointment. When you constantly praise someone and tell her that she's great, even when she's not, you set that someone up for a massive, shocking, even unfair disappointment when the truth seeps in.

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