East Village Afternoon

9. Sarah Palin
Okay, you knew this one was coming. Look, we don't hate this woman, we just hate what she stands for. She represents a continuance of the George Bush mindset, that just because one is planning to hold the most important job in our nation is no reason to panic, it's not like you need to study, or read, or be up on the history of our country, or have a nuanced understanding of very complex and layered issues, no! All you really need to be President is the knowledge that everything you believe is right and everyone else is wrong. And if anyone disagrees with you, you just have to remember that those people are Un-American or unpatriotic or go to the wrong church or out to get you or gay. Period. Case closed.
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We just finished one administration of a guy who didn't like to read, and look where that got us: the worst economy since the Great Depression, two botched foreign wars, and absolutely no progress made in bettering our domestic social ills, i.e. a collapsing health care system, an eroding pubic school system, and a federal government increasingly held hostage by corporations and big money. Yes, you did a heckuva job there, Bushie!
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And right behind George comes another good 'ol gal that a lot of people would love to drink a beer with, or at least shoot some moose with, Sarah Palin. But hopefully, we've learned our lesson, that the Presidency of the United States is a pretty damn important job, and we need the smartest possible person we can find to hold the job. Some people get a sense of comfort when the President is "just like one of us." No! No! Not us, we don't want the class clown as President, we want the class geek who stayed home on a Saturday night to study while the rest of us were out getting drunk and throwing up on each other's prom dresses. The President should be a whole hell of a lot smarter than our dumb asses!
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So, no, Miss Sarah, we don't think you have the chops to run for President, and our wish for 2009, and the many years which will follow, is that you stay in Alaska where you can do minimal damage to the rest of us.