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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The New Ike and Tina Turner

Hey, we're not trying to be up-to-the-minute gossip hounds here, we didn't even know these two were dating, and we barely know who Chris Brown is, but the story of Brown's alleged beating of girlfriend Rihanna has captured the attention of the entire country. According to many reports, Brown allegedly beat the holy crap out of Rihanna on the night of the Grammys.

Wow. We didn't know that O.J. Simpson, while looking for the "real killers" of his wife, Nicole, had the free time to set up a Young Celebrities' School for the Art and Appreciation of Domestic Violence.
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So we're thinking, okay, that's it, if this whole story proves to be true, that's it for Brown's dating life. No woman will go within miles of him, right? He'll be looking at a future life of closeted prison sex with his male posse, or a retirement to a country farm where he'll strike up a strange but lovely relationship with an ewe named Maisie. Right? Wrong! Luckily for Brown, there are plenty of women out there with just as many mental health issues as he'll ever have. Have you noticed how many women line up to marry mass-murdering serial killers in prison? In fact, Rihanna, herself, according to some reports, is already trying to retract some of her original story in which she implicated Brown as her assailant.

Calling Dr. Phil!!

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