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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Oscars - 9:46 pm

Ooops, we cut that last segment off too soon. James Franco, Seth Rogan and Janusz Kaminski, a two time Oscar winner for Cinematography, come out, live, to give the Oscar to Best Short Film. The winner is "Spielzeugland (Toyland)".
We just realized, we haven't seen the host, Hugh Jackman, in a long time. We're guessing this might be the first time in Oscar history that the producers of the show decided mid-broadcast that they made a horrible mistake, and they're breaking the news to Jackman to go ahead and take a cab home.
No, we spoke too soon. Jackman comes out and starts another musical number, something about a salute to movie musicals. Oh God, now Beyonce appears and booty-shakes her way across the stage. We love this girl, but she's about as equipped to perform a Broadway musical number as the monster in "Young Frankenstein". Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens take part in the number, but they're only allowed to sing a couple of bars before they're swept into the background. Wise move. At the end of the torturous number, we find out Baz Luhrman created and directed the number. Oh, Baz. You'll be punished for this, we promise. If we have to hunt you down and do it ourselves, you will be punished.

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