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Monday, February 1, 2010

Grammy Awards 2010 - Part I

Last night were the 2010 Grammy Awards. Normally the Grammys are one of our favorite awards shows of the year; it's one of the few major awards shows which realizes that the awards don't really matter, it's the musical performances that people tune in to see. The performances usually make the show a blockbuster event and provides at least one or two classic showstoppers that are remembered and talked about for years to come. Uh... not this year.
(lady gaga opened the show)
To say that this year's show was underwhelming is an undertatement. Between the numbers that resembled Broadway dance numbers, second rate Cirque du Soleil acts and the ones whose singers couldn't sing in tune, it's no wonder the most talked about event was Michael Jackson's children making a speech. Whatever happened to sex, drugs and rock and roll? Whatever happened to the singers and bands that could blow us away with their sheer talent, their overwhelming sexual charisma and their monstrous musical abilities? No wonder the music industry is hanging onto survival by its fingernails. The music business needs real talent as desperately as the cast of "The Jersey Shore" needs a good eyebrow threading.
Lady Gaga opened the show dressed in a giant, green, Lucky Charms
marshmellow outfit with an over-the-top set and a line of dancing chorus boys that was... well, how do we put this? We haven't seen anything so campy since Ryan Seacrest's mouthwash commercial in which he's desired as a sex object by women. The number ended with twin pianos rolled out on the stage, Lady Gaga at one, and Elton John on the other, in matching outfits no less, performing a mashup of her "Speechless" and his "Your Song". Entertaining? Yes. Fun performance art? Yes. Great rock and roll? Uh... no.
Stephen Colbert followed Lady Gaga with a comedic monologue that was actually pretty funny. At one point, he said, "We are here tonight to celebrate what I believe is our most precious right, the right of celebrities to congratulate each other." Hilarious, but that one seemed lost on the self-absorbed crowd.
The "Song of the Year" trophy went to Beyonce's "Single Ladies". The Song of the Year award goes to the songwriter, not the singer. You knew this gargantuanally popular song was going to get some kind of trophy, but Song of the Year? Really? Oh yeah, we're sure the lyrics of "Single Ladies" will stand up to the other great, classic Songs of the Year, i.e. "Killing Me Softly With His Song", "Send in the Clowns" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water". Put a ring on that one, Knowles.
A little bit later Taylor Swift's "Fearless" won for "Best Country Album". Taylor, opened mouthed and gasping, climbed the stage and said, "Omg, this is the first time I've ever climbed those stairs and accepted a Grammy on national t.v.!" We very nearly vomited. Listen, we love the cute, little country princess as much as the next person, (even though her music is hardly
"country"), but at this point, the girl has won every major award known to music, including the prestigious Country Music Association's "Entertainer of the Year", a feat unheard of for someone so young. So the whole, "oh, wow, I didn't expect this, and I'm so shocked I might wet myself" routine is getting a little tiresome.

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