2010 Grammy Awards - Part II

Beyonce took to the stage for her highly anticipated number,

"If I Were a Boy". It was another over-produced, Broadway-lite attempt at having a water cooler number, but it was all just a little too forced. Beyonce, we're begging you, just sing, you've got the pipes, you don't need to try so hard to impress. At one point, "Miss Fierce", (didn't Tyra Banks outlaw the word "fierce" a few years back for being overused and cliched?), even got down on her hands and knees and swung her wig around, ala Tina Turner, like a Tilt-a-Whirl on crack cocaine. How much longer are strong, powerful women like Ms. Knowles going to believe that they have to play the sexually agressive, horny sex kitten to get attention? Stop the madness, please! At one point, she even grabbed her crotch. It was silly, it was ridiculous, it was too much. We think there's something unsettling about Beyonce and her career choices, but we'll talk about that later. For now, we'll just say that despite the pandering production number, we really are fans of Beyonce's voice, especially when she segued into Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know".

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But just when we thought Lady Gaga and Beyonce had gone too far over the top, Pink took the stage and really made us want to cower in the corner until it all just went away! Pink, in a nude body stocking, (isn't this the woman that used to rag on other women for playing too much to their sexy bodies?), sang a song while being lifted into the air by a strip of fabric, ala Cirque du Soleil, and spun around and around and around, also dripping and spewing water all over the audience. Is this really the state of popular music and performance? Why, God, why? Pink, poor misguided pop star, if you ever get the urge to do something like a Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus act again, just ask yourself, "Would the Beatles do this? Would the Rolling Stones do this? Would Etta James do this?". And then maybe you'll come to your senses.

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Loretta Lynn got a Lifetime Achievement Award, but as is always the case with the Lifetimers, they never get to take the stage for an acceptance speech. It's sad. We've got an idea, could we trade a couple of the circus acts for allowing a legend like Loretta Lynn to at least go up on stage and say "thank you"? Is that asking too much? We could even run a "crawl" at the bottom of the screen explaining to the tween set who Loretta Lynn is and why she's infinitely more important to the history of popular music than Pink.

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The Zac Brown Band won the "Best New Artist" Grammy.

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(zac brown of the zac brown band)