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Sunday, April 11, 2010

And Gay People Still Can't Get Married? Part XXVII

In another edition of "And Gay People Still Can't Get Married?", we highlight another lovely couple who deeply respect the sanctity of marriage and who are offering encouragement for the Republican Party who are fighting on all our behalves to "protect" traditional marriage in America.
Michael Lohan, 50, father of Hollywood nightmare Lindsey Lohan, announced his engagement to Kate Major, 27, ex-girlfriend of Jon Gosselin. Michael, in addition to his shining skills as a father, is best known for being investigated for insider trading, his conviction for criminal contempt of court, getting into a fistfight with his brother-in-law at a family communion, his conviction for drunk driving and for serving a number of years in prison. Major is a former writer for Star Magazine and according to people who know her, is "desperate to be in the limelight".
Awww, it's all so sweet. Aren't they wonderful? Thank god people like this are free to marry whenever they want, without even a second thought, while those nasty gay people who would "destroy" traditional marriage are kept out of the wedding chapel where Lohan and Major will soon begin a long, loving, subtantial life together. Oh, I'm tearing up.

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