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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Would It Kill You To Do a Couple of Sit-Ups?

Happy 41st Birthday to Gerard Butler. Butler is one of those rare Hollywood types who is running the risk of making us fall out of love with him as fast as we fell in love with him. The guy's been making movies since 1997, and we sort of remember him in "Dracula 2000" and "Reign of Fire", but for some reason, we didn't really notice him until he sang and charmed us as The Phantom in "The Phantom of the Opera" in 2004. But then, two years later came his career-making role in "300", and thanks to his massive pecs and ripped abs, he gave new meaning to the old gladiator movies of the 1950's and sparked a million new fantasies in the minds of young gay boys everywhere. For a very short time, Gerard Butler was sex personified; quite simply put, the guy was hot.
From that point on, Butler was on a roll; he followed "300" with our truly favorite Gerard Butler movie, "RocknRolla". God, that was a great movie! But it was also during Butler's post-"300" career that the wheels almost completely came off. Despite being red hot after "300" and having his choice of probably any movie role he wanted, he made one disastrously bad romantic comedy after another: "The Ugly Truth", "P.S. I Love You" and worst of all, "The Bounty Hunter". Pee-Yew. Just thinking about those three movies makes us want to vomit. He famously lost his "300" body pretty quickly; he's appeared on beaches in the past couple of years looking like a fat, bloated baby whale, but did he lose his balls at the same time he lost his abs? Come on, Gerard, put down the tub of Ben and Jerry's, get into shape, and stop with the awful chick flicks. In the classic words of Sharron Angle, "Man up!"; make a movie that not only gets your career back on track but one that guys can watch without cringing.
He might already be taking our advice. Next up for Butler is "Coriolanus", a military-themed movie with Ralph Fiennes. Look at the photo still from the upcoming movie, Butler looks like a man again! Maybe dating man-killer, (and career-killer), Jennifer Aniston didn't completely destroy his career after all; let's hope not.

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