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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Britney Hell, Chapter 42

Poor Brit Brit. She just can't stay out of tabloid hell. Look, devoting any space on the pages of East Village Afternoon to a washed-up, talentless pop princess makes us feel really dirty, so we'll get through this as fast as possible.
Evidently, there was a phone recording of Britney telling her ex-husband, Jason Alexander, that her boyfriend, Jason Trawick, a Hollywood agent, was beating her. Brit and her camp claim that the recording is a fake, and that it is not her voice. After the scandal blew up, Brit couldn't take it anymore and lashed out at Alexander and the two publications which published the phone call, Star Magazine and Radar Online, by tweeting: "PS - Star Magazine, Radar Online, Jason Alexander and the rest of you liars, Ya'll can kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass!" Wow. Who said this girl isn't classy?
.But if you think Brit Brit's latest tabloid romp isn't scary enough, there's now a report that Ms. Spears is about to release a new album in March 2011. Wait, can we divert the cops who are about to arrest the Wikileaks guy to Louisana to the Spears family trailer and arrest her instead? Isn't the thought of listening to Britney Spears "sing" a bigger and more frightening threat to national security than leaked state department papers?
But wait, Brit Brit isn't the only tween dream that seems to be having difficulty making it outside an auto-tune world. A British newspaper, The Daily Mail, reported yesterday that Justin Bieber, wait, Grammy nominee Justin Bieber, was dining the previous night at an expensive Mayfair restaurant, and when he emerged from the eatery, he had drawn a mustache on his face, was playing with a remote control helicopter and threw a tantrum when his bodyguards wanted to put him in his limo. Poor baby, we're guessing that he asked Santa for pubic hair this year, and so far, it's looking like he might not get his X-mas wish. Ouch.

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