Recently Vacant- A multi-bedroom, multi-bath mansion in the lovely, picturesque city of Obattabad, Pakistan. Nestled in the Orash Valley, you'll enjoy pleasant weather and the breathtaking scenery of the surrounding Sarban Hills. The tourist-dominated city takes on an amusing atmosphere; even the frequent drone missile attacks from the western infidels won't inhibit the fun of your family's backyard bar-b-que.
And even though you'll only be a few miles from the country's most prestigious military academy, don't worry, if you feel the need to occasionally flaunt international law, the commandants of the academy will always look the other way. The house is a fixer-upper, the master bedroom, in particular, will need some cleaning, but funds for renovation are available from secret Swiss bank accounts and can be made readily available for your use. Sorry, no phone or internet.