U.S. Figure Skating Championships

The finals of the 2009 U.S. Figure Skating Championships were held on Saturday and Sunday.
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We can't decide whether to love this sport or deride it mercilessly, but there is no denying that it's one of the most popular spectator sports in America. If it weren't for the ratings juggernaut of the figure skating competition, we might not even see the Winter Olympics televised. Figure skating will never be a rough, man-friendly sport; instead of block and tackle, it's more like slap and tickle, however, in one recent sports study at a major university, it was determined that the intricate and demanding jumps in figure skating require the same amount of aerobic capacity and physical stamina that it takes to play an entire half of a college football game. So take that, haters.

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America has a long history of providing the world with not only the best athletes in women's figure skating, but also the most lovely and graceful. Alissa Czisny won the women's competition on Saturday, and not only is she a physically striking girl, but her skating was breathtakingly beautiful. We could just imagine all the young girls across America watching the telecast on Saturday and quickly telling Mommy that they "want to be like that!"

(some girl and Rockne Brubaker / Rockne and his thighs / more Rockne / Rockne, his fantastic butt and some girl)

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Meanwhile, one particular skater caught our attention in the Pairs competition. Rockne Brubaker, and some girl, won the U.S. Pairs competition for the second year in a row. Pairs skating, with its very dangerous, high risk lifts and throws is truly exciting to watch, but not as half as exciting as staring at Rockne. He's got that dumb jock look with the bedroom eyes, and pants stretched skin-tight across a butt and thighs so massive they deserved a gold medal all their own. Whew!