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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Oscar Day 2009

Okay, Oscar Day is finally here. In just a few hours, some actors will take the stage to lovingly caress and stroke a small naked man, while their fellow nominees smile woodenly and try to resist the urge to shout to the winner, "Fuck you, bitch!!". Hooray for Hollywood.

We'll be back later today to blog the show live, but in the meantime, here's our final predictions:

Supporting Actor-
Who we'd like to see win: Josh Brolin
Who should win: Josh Brolin
Who will win: Heath Ledger
It's a classic sympathy vote. Period.

Supporting Actress-
Who we'd like to see win: Viola Davis or Penelope Cruz
Who should win: Penelope Cruz
Who will win: Penelope Cruz
Viola blew us away, but it's all Penelope. She's paid her Hollywood dues, it's her turn and the performance was Oscar worthy.

Best Actress-
Who we'd like to see win: Kate Winslet
Who should win: Kate Winslet
Who will win: Kate Winslet
This is a sure thing. She's paid her dues, she's a multi-loser in the past and the performance was truly worthy. And did anyone besides us notice that Jolie really sucked in her role?

Best Actor-
Who we'd like to see win: Sean Penn
Who should win: Sean Penn
Who will win: Sean Penn (but Mickey Rourke or Frank Langella could)
Sorry, but this is the toughest one to predict. Penn, Rourke and Langella are all deserving. We give the edge to Penn because he created an original role, unlike Rourke, and he's simply more popular than Langella. But all three of them could win. There'll be some serious nail-biting in the room for this one.
Apart from the awards, things to watch for tonight:
1. There have been hints there will be musical numbers. Will we have a repeat of the ghastly Rob Lowe-Snow White debacle?
2. Will Sharon Stone's horniness know no bounds? She made a play for Dev Patel at the Baftas, will she go even younger tonight and try for one of the Jonas Brothers?
3. Will Angelina dress like a star, or follow recent history and dress like an aging yenta in mourning?
4. Will Mickey Rourke take skeeviness to new levels and continue to leer at and make lurid passes at every vagina in the room?

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