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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Douche of the Day

For the past few days, all the focus of the new Republican villainy has centered around John Boehner, Sarah Palin, Mitch McConnell and others. But these people are easy to understand; their anger and vindictiveness is easy to spot and therefore easy to counteract. The Republicans you really have to fear are the seemingly "nice" Republicans, like Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty.
Pawlenty was on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" this morning, and make no mistake about it, the guy has his eyes on a bigger prize, namely the U.S. Presidency. And is typical with all of Pawlenty's public appearances, he hits all the right Republican talking points, all related in smooth, polished tones with a smug, self-satisfied half-smile on his face. God, what a scary motherfucker!
Here's why you have to fear people like Tim Pawlenty. As we said, with people like McConnell and Boehner, we get them. They are barely able to disguise their disdain and hatred for anyone unlike them, whether it's the poor, progressive thinkers or Mexicans. But politicians like Tim Pawlenty will pretend to your face that they're a different kind of Republican; they're "compassionate". Remember when Bush coined the term "compassionate conservative"? But don't fall for it, Pawlenty is just as driven by a warped view of society as John Boehner on his worst day. Pawlenty's talking points always include "making tough choices" and "bringing down the cost of health care". Right. But here's where you really have to pay attention to Pawlenty. When pressed on specifics about "tough choices", do you notice that, to him, the things that always "have to be on the table" are cuts in medicare, social security and health care? In other words, the poor, the sick and the elderly. Why don't the "touch choices" ever include cuts in defense, Big Business or the wealthiest Americans? Why, in Tim Pawlently's world, do the least among us always have to bear the burden of the "tough choices", and never those that could actually better shoulder that burden? And when discussing the cost of health care, it's easy to say that costs should lower, but why won't Tim Pawlenty ever say that the only way to really lower health care costs is to confront the medical community and tell doctors that they have to stop charging $200 for a 15 minute visit, which translates to $800 per hour. $800 per hour. Wow. Think about that. But if you think Tim Pawlenty is ever going to make that "really touch choice" and stand up to the medical community, you can forget it, it's much easier to punish all those greedy retirees for daring to expect a few hundred dollars a month in fixed incomes.
Yes, Tim Pawlenty is a colossal douche, and even slightly more qualified to be a national leader than Sarah Palin. But don't worry, he's not going anyway; luckily for us, he has all the charisma of a wet dish rag and none of the real gifts of personality that are required to win national office. Yes, we know, Tim Pawlenty, calling you out as a fraud is a "tough choice", but it's one we're ready to make.

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