Crimes of the Cineplex

Into every life a little rain must fall, and in the life of a Hollywood star, with the glory of the Oscars, also potentially comes the Razzies. The Golden Raspberry Awards, or "The Razzies", began in 1980 and are Hollywood's most respected summary of the worst movies and worst acting performances of the year.

 

(see the look of horror on Jennifer Aniston's face? it's the
same one we get every time we hear she's made a another movie)

Just as with a lot of fake awards, the Razzies might have started as a joke, but they've now evolved into a fairly accurate summary of what was truly the year's worst in Hollywood. The Razzies annually hand out their trophies, (giant metal raspberries which are spray-painted with gold paint), the night before the Oscars.

The Razzies announced their nominations for 2010 a few days ago, and for Worst Picture, the nominees are: "The Bounty Hunter", "The Last Airbender", "Sex and The City 2", "Twilight Saga: Eclipse", "Vampires Suck".

(Not even a shirtless Ashton Kutcher could save "The Killers"...
we actually paid money to see this movie, and we want it back.)

For Worst Actor: Jack Black for "Gulliver's Travels", Gerard Butler for "The Bounty Hunter", Ashton Kutcher for "Killers" and "Valentine's Day", Taylor Lautner for "Twilight Saga: Eclipse" and "Valentine's Day", Robert Pattinson for "Remember Me" and Twilight Saga: Eclipse".

 
(it might look like Miley Cyrus is about to molest a young boy; actually in this movie
she molested our eyes, ears and mental state)

For Worst Actress: Jennifer Aniston for "The Bounty Hunter" and "The Switch", Miley Cyrus for "The Last Song", Megan Fox for "Jonah Hex", Kristen Stewart for "Twilight Saga: Eclipse", Parker/Catrall/Davis/Nixon for "Sex and The City 2".


We love the Razzies, and in this era of "taking personal responsibility" and severe budget cuts, we desperately need an organization which publicly calls out the Hollywood producers and stars who make millions by charging us $12 and more for pure dreck. In fact, we don't think the Razzies go far enough; we'd like to see an actual "Hollywood Jail" opened which would house the more serious offenders of our entertainment sensibilities. And we agree with actor Rupert Everett that the time has come for Jennifer Aniston to serve some hard time in that jail. We're guessing she'll easily win this year's Razzie for Worst Actress. Now if someone could just take away her ability to make movies then we'd all be living in one, big, happy world.

More Amazing News: A Chicken Laid An Egg!

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Some might think we're a little cynical here at East Village Afternoon... well, yes, we are. But as our hero, Bill Maher, warns us, as a nation, we should actually be even more cynical. Just blindly accepting whatever our politicians or our media tells us is usually what gets us in trouble. So with that said, here we go.
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We couldn't help but chuckle when we read one of those "Yahoo News Stories" that appeared on our laptop yesterday. There were all these stories about Hollywood entertainers who are making millions in "other businesses". The title itself was misleading, most of the stars on the list are making "other" money in the entertainment business, or at least by using the fame of their names. Ashton Kutcher, for instance... and hey, don't get us wrong, we love Ashton... but the story related how he's becoming much more successful as a producer of t.v. shows than he is as an actor. So an actor who becomes a producer is an "other business"? Now that's funny. In the entertainment business, once one becomes famous, as Ashton did on "That 70's Show", then it becomes very easy for that person to get meetings to produce other t.v. and film projects. To make it seem as though Ashton went out and built a t.v. production company from scratch, without any help from his famous name, is misleading at worst, and at best, is hilarious.

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Again, not that we begrudge Ashton his success, we really love the guy, but please, let's see him go out and start a business without using his name and which is totally unrelated to entertainment, i.e. selling cookies, running a restaurant, building solar panels, etc., and then let's see how successful he is. We're just saying, that Yahoo story needs a little reality check.

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Sadly, though, some celebs can't even make it in business by trading on their famous names. Take, for instance, Britney Spears' venture into the restaurant business. Her New York eatery, NYLA, closed in 2003 amid bad reviews of terrible food and sloppy service, and owing $400,000 when it closed. Poor Brit Brit. Well, at least she's got a well-grounded family life and a spectacular singing voice. Wait a minute!