Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

London's The Sunday Times writer Lynn Barber is most famous for being played by Carey Mulligan in the 2009 movie, "An Education", for which Mulligan received an Oscar nomination, but that's not what got Barber death threats last week. No, Barber's famous tales of sleeping with lots and lots of men didn't raise the world's ire, but her recent interview with Rafael Nadal did. The most controversial item in the interview was Barber's hint that Nadal might be gay, but the main jist of the piece was that Nadal is "over-handled" and is leading a bizarro, strangled life of all work and no play. And by no "play", Barber is talking about a sex life. Barber pondered many times in the article how a young, vital 25 year-old can survive without sex, but of course, Barber is only speculating that Nadal is nookie-free. Nadal supposedly has a girlfriend, but no one outside of his very tight inner-circle knows the truth. Anyway, the world-wide fans of Nadal, who just won his sixth French Open title, went beserk, threatening Barber's life and coming to a quick and spirited defense of their idol.

It's funny that Barber's article was published when it was, because after watching Nadal's French Open win last week, we caught ourselves thinking, "Why can't we get more excited about this guy?". We're certainly not about to go down the ill-advised path that Sports Illustrated Magazine trod back in the 1980's with its famous piece on Ivan Lendl, (click here), but we can't help but see the similarities between Nadal and Lendl. Back in the 1980's, the Connors/McEnroe tennis era, which electrified American sports fans and helped to make tennis incredibly popular in the U.S., was coming to an end, and in its place came a new champion, Czechoslovakian Ivan Lendl. Lendl was a great champion, but to say that he played with no emotion and no fireworks is an understatement. He was the embodiment of the stereotype of the robotic Soviet-bloc athlete who wins his games, but in the process wins no fans. To Americans, who like their sports heroes to wear their hearts on their sleeves, Lendl was the anti-Christ.

And now comes Nadal, who plays with a similar machine-like attitude with little emotion. Yes, he jumps in the air and pumps his fists, but other than that, he has absolutely no personality. Unlike other sports stars like Roger Federer and Tiger Woods, Nadal appears in no American t.v. commercials, and he barely speaks to the press. Part of the reason for Nadal's silence is the fact that he struggles to speak English, but even when he does, he has very little of interest to say. Now we're not about to say that only bright, shiny objects catch our attention; we don't need our sports stars to rant and rave, ala John McEnroe, for us to love them. We were big fans of Ivan Lendl back in the day, and he barely even smiled. But an athlete has to do something to endear himself to us, and so we're sorry to say this, but for all of Nadal's success, he just bores us. In fact, there are times when we don't even like him.

Maybe Nadal's lack of popularity in America has something to do with the era in which he's playing. When Lendl played, he proved to be the perfect antithesis for the much fierier McEnroe; in other words, for all those people who wanted to see the spoiled-brat McEnroe get his come-uppance, Lendl was our savior. But when Nadal wins, he more often than not ruins the storyline that most people want to see. Among the top four men in tennis, everyone wants to see Federer win to see how many more Grand Slams he can win; they want to see Andy Murray win to become Great Britain's first tennis champion in eighty years, and they want to see Novak Djokovic win because he's just so darn funny and likable. So when Nadal defeats these guys, instead of receiving the love, he instead earns scorn for ruining the storybook ending we would rather have seen.



It's a shame, because Nadal himself is very likable. He might be a little OCD, and the butt-picking is more than we can take, but the way that he shows concern for his opponents right after he crushes their dreams is genuinely touching. And the fact that he modestly refuses to believe that he is better than Roger Federer, even though he routinely beats him, is a sign of inspiring maturity. But for some reason, it just doesn't work. We just can't work ourselves up to love Nadal, or to cheer for him to win. Maybe one day it will all change; maybe the storyline will shift, and Nadal will become the underdog for whom we'll cheer. But it's going to take a lot for that to happen, and at this point, we wouldn't count on it.

Same Story, Different Day

Well, we thought we were going to see something different at this year's French Open. Novak Djokovic was having the tennis year of his life, even beating Rafael Nadal twice in the finals of clay court tournaments, Nadal was a little shaky on clay for the first time in his career, and Federer was safely out of play in the rare, (for him), #3 position. So the dream story was being written; everyone was hoping for a Djokovic/Nadal French Open final where Djokovic might just do the unthinkable: beat Nadal in the finals.

But it was not to be, and in the end, we reverted back to the same old script of the past few years, with unfortunately, the same sad, disappointing result. Federer defeated Djokovic in the semi-finals, and then met Nadal in the finals today where Federer did what he always does, he just folded under the pressure and just went away. Federer started off the first set like a man possessed, totally controlling the match, racing out to a 5-2 lead. But then, as he always does against Nadal on clay, he just disappeared before our very eyes. Fucker! Nadal won the next eight games in a row, and went on to win the match in four sets. With his victory, Nadal won his sixth French Open, tying the great Bjorn Borg with the most all-time wins at Roland Garros.

We'll never understand how the greatest player in the sport, Federer, can just completely fold against only one player, Nadal, on only one surface, clay. And Federer disappointed us twice this week, first by interrupting the better story which would have been a Djokovic/Nadal final, and then, second, by losing so quickly, once again, in the final. But now that we've gotten our anger out at Roger, we can give him a little credit. He has made the finals of the French Open four times, which would arguably make him currently the second best player on clay, and certainly in the top ten of all time, and he's not the only great player in the sport to have an career achilles heel. McEnroe, Connors and Sampras never won the French, Borg never won the U.S. Open, and Lendl never won Wimbledon. Federer did win the French in 2009, just not against Nadal in the final. So even though Roger definitely disappointed us in the past couple of days, he's still probably the greatest player of all time, and nothing will ever take that away from him. Okay, now, everyone feel better? Right, now, on to Wimbledon!

A Different Kind of History

Well, history is indeed being made at this year's French Open, but not the kind we expected. We really thought Novak Djokovic would extend his unbeaten win streak for 2011, not only breaking John McEnroe's 1984 record of a 42-0 start to a year, but would also win his first French Open title. Wrong.

Unfortunately for Djokovic, it seems that Roger Federer didn't like the fact that he's been considered an afterthought for most of this year, and he took out all his frustrations yesterday in the semi-finals on Novak. Federer beat Djokovic in four sets, ending Novak's win streak at 41 straight matches, and set up another Federer/Nadal Grand Slam final.

What was unusual about the match was the emotion with which Federer played. Always stoic, always one to keep his emotions bottled up on the court, Federer was in rare form yesterday, screaming and yelling at times, leaving no doubt to the thousands of crazed, screaming French fans that this match meant a lot to him. And when he won, Federer held up a "#1" finger, wagging it in the air, almost to say to the tennis world, "Now who's the best player in the world?" If you missed the match, we're sorry, because John McEnroe and many others commented that it was one of the best matches Federer had ever played; and for a storied career like his, that's saying a lot.

There's a lot on the line tomorrow in the Federer/Nadal final. If Nadal wins, he'll tie Bjorn Borg's record of six French titles, and if Federer wins, it will be his second French, and 19th Grand Slam title overall. But it'll be a tough one for Federer, he's never beaten Nadal at the French Open.

History was made today over on the women's side when Li Na defeated Italy's Francesca Schiavone to become the first Chinese player, man or woman, to win a Grand Slam tennis tournament. Something like 50 million Chinese people were watching the match on t.v. today; something tells us that in about five years, there will be a whole pack of young Chinese girls coming up through the ranks of the tennis world.

One last note on Novak Djokovic's win streak. As we said before, he only needed one more win to tie McEnroe's 27 year-old record, and if Fabio Fognini hadn't pulled out of the quarterfinals with an injury, we're almost certain Djokovic would have had it. It's a shame that he lost the record on a fluke.

The Vampire Sharapova Rises... Where's a Wooden Stake When You Need One?

We're down to the semi-finals at The 2011 French Open, and the men and women seemed to have switched places in the tennis world in the past few years. All through the 1980's and 90's, in the four Grand Slam tournaments of the year, you could almost always count on the top four seeded women making the semi-finals, while the men were all over the place, the top seeds losing in the early rounds, putting some strange, unexpected players in the semis. Now it's flipped; while the top four men in the sport, Djokovic, Federer, Nadal and Murray almost always seem to find their places in the semi-finals, this year's French no exception, on the women's side it's a free-for-all. Today's semifinalists on the women's side of The French Open are the 11th seed playing the 5th seed, (Bartoli vs. Schiavone), and the 6th seed playing the 7th seed, (Li vs. Sharapova). The women's tour is definitely going through a transition period, with the past decade's top players, Serena, Venus, Kim Clijsters and Justine Henin leaving the game, with no younger players yet ready to dominate the next era of the sport.

When it comes to Novak Djokovic breaking John McEnroe's 1984 record of a 42-0 win streak to start the year, it just got a little trickier. When Djokovic won his 4th Round match, his record for the year stood at 41-0. His unseeded, almost unknown opponent in the quarterfinals, Fabio Fognini, looked to be an easy win for Djokovic, which would give Djokovic a tie with McEnroe's twenty-seven year-old record. But then Fognini pulled out of the tournament, which put Djokovic in the semi-finals, but Djokovic wasn't given credit for the win, keeping his record for the year at 41-0. So now to tie McEnroe's record, Djokovic has to defeat Roger Federer in the semi-finals, ouch!, and to break the record he'll have to beat, (probably), Rafael Nadal in the finals. Double ouch. It's a tough haul, but something tells us that Djokovic will do it.

And speaking of the women's side of tennis, would someone, please, for the love of god defeat Maria Sharapova? Watching this woman's game is painful; watching her play actually makes us hurt. Sharapova, who already holds three Grand Slam titles, is experiencing a career resurgence after being away from the game for awhile due to injuries. But she has to be the single most obnoxious player in the sport of tennis. It's not the fact that she loudly barks like a seal everytime she strikes the ball that's so annoying, although that is very annoying, no, it's Maria's
"gamesmanship" which is so torturous. Sharapova is determined to slow the game down, (she plays better when the pace of the game is slow), and so after every single point she takes the maximum amount of time allowed before serving. It makes watching her play even less exciting than watching paint dry. But where Maria deserves a slap on the wrist is when she subtly breaks one of the first rules of tennis, which states that the receiver must play at the speed of the server. In other words, when you're receiving, it's your responsiblity to be on the line, ready to receive the serve when the server is ready to serve. Instead, Maria turns her back on the server after every point, pretending to adjust her racket strings, forcing the server to wait. She's not technically breaking a rule, but the tactic is rude and obnoxious. We're hoping that at some point in their semi-final match that Li Na will go ahead and serve the ball to a back-turned Sharapova and whack her right in the back of the head. It might not correct Sharapova's unsportsmanlike behavior, but it would certainly make us feel better. Come on, Li, we're begging you!

The Greatest "Trivalry" in Sports

Novak Djokovic beat Richard Gasquet in straight sets today at The French Open, putting him at 41-0 for the year, and just one win away from tying John McEnroe's record of starting the 1984 year with a 42-0 win streak.

But Djokovic isn't the only man making tennis history this week. There's still another player in the tournament you might have heard of named Roger Federer. Federer defeated his Swiss countrymen, Stanislas Wawrinka today, putting him in the quarterfinals, and remarkably, he has now made at least the quarterfinals of 28 straight Grand Slam tournaments. That's an incredible record. If not for Federer's two losses last year in the quarterfinals of the French and Wimbledon, Federer would have made 28 straight Major semi-finals.

But Federer's 28 quarterfinals pales in comparison to the all-time record, held by Chris Evert. Evert, in a stretch from 1971 to 1983, made at least the semi-finals of all 34 Grand Slam tournaments she entered. That's a stunning achievement in sport.

(chris evert)

With Djokovic now finally beating Federer and Nadal consistently, we have a three-way domination of the sport of tennis. Mary Carillo, commenting today at The French Open for NBC, coined a new term for the Federer/Nadal/Djokovic stranglehold on tennis; she said that "we no longer have a rivalry in tennis, we have a 'trivalry'." Clever.

Can He Do It?

The remarkable sports story of Novak Djokovic just gets better and better.

Here's the deal, for all of you who don't follow tennis. For the past decade, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal have dominated the men's game, with everyone else playing the roles of "afterthoughts", or just slightly annoying people who Federer and Nadal had to beat to make it to the finals of another tournament. First Federer was unbeatable for two or three years, then Nadal finally, slowly figured out how to beat Federer, first on clay, then on every other surface. And so for the past two years, Federer and Nadal have jockeyed back and forth for the #1 ranking. And even though Novak Djokovic was in third place in the rankings behind Federer and Nadal, he was always a very distant third, not really a contender to ever consistently beat the top two players.

And then something happened this year, Djokovic is unbeaten for the year, and has now defeated Federer and Nadal three and four times, respectively. How did this happen, you might ask. Well, Federer got a little older and his invincibility began to wain, and while Nadal had spent so much time figuring out how to take down Federer, he evidently didn't pay much attention to the games of others, namely, Djokovic, coming up behind him. But Djokovic also played a part in gaining his new status as the best player in the game. He matured; he stopped throwing his shirt into the stands after matches, and he stopped imitating the other players to laughs from the crowds. And with his new mental and emotional maturity seemed to come a new maturity in his game.

One week ago, at the Madrid Open, Djokovic did the unthinkable, he beat Nadal on his unbeatable surface of clay, in Nadal's home country, no less. But it was even more unthinkable that Djokovic could beat in today's Italian Open final, which would mean that he would defeat Nadal, the best clay court player in the world, in two clay tournaments, back to back. But he did it. And not only did he do it, but today, he made Nadal look like a struggling amateur.

And, of course, as we've been saying for the past few days, at stake today was Djokovic's unbeaten win streak for 2011, which after today's win, now stands at 37 straight matches. He's only five matches away from tying John McEnroe's record of 42 straight matches to start the 1984 season.

Next up for Djokovic is The French Open, the second Grand Slam tournament of the year, which starts one week from today. All eyes will be on Novak next week in Paris, not only to see if he can break McEnroe's record, but also to see if can win his first French Open. But also going for the win in Paris will be Rafael Nadal, which would be his sixth championship at Roland Garros Stadium and would tie him with the great Bjorn Borg for winning the most French Opens. So guess which two players we want to see in the finals? Oh yeah, let's pray for tennis heaven next week.

The Streak Continues

While most of America's sports fans this week are focused on the NBA play-offs, there's an even bigger sports story brewing in the world of tennis. Tennis has fallen out of favor with American sports fans in the past few years, mainly because there are no longer any American stars in the sport. This week it was announced that no American man or woman would be in the Top Ten of the world rankings next week, the first time this has happened since the pro rankings began in the sport in the early 1970's.

But thanks to players like Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic, the sport of tennis is still thriving, regardless of whether Americans pay attention or not. Federer is slowly beginning to slip from the top of the game, but that's not the big story this week. The big news this week is coming from Novak Djokovic, who yesterday beat Rafael Nadal in the finals of the Madrid Open, Nadal's "home court". All the big Spanish sports stars, former #1 Carlos Moya, soccer pin-up boy Ronaldo Cristiano, and former Wimbledon, U.S. Open and French champion Manolo Santana, were there to watch their hometown boy, but their support for Nadal was in vain. Djokovic's win was an important milestone in his career; it was the first time, in ten tries, that he defeated Nadal on Nadal's strongest surface of clay. But that's still not the big story. The real news is that Djokovic is currently 32-0 for 2011. That's right, no one has defeated Djokovic this year, which means he's won every tournament he's entered, including the Australian Open, Indian Wells and the Sony Ericsson Open. Djokovic's win streak is no fluke, either; he's defeated the other top two players, Federer and Nadal, three times each, (an unbelievable accomplishment), in the course of winning five tournaments. His win yesterday enabled Djokovic to surpass Bjorn Borg on the all-time record of "best starts" for the year; Borg started the 1980 season with 31 straight wins. But Djokovic still trails the all-time record holder, John McEnroe, who started the 1984 season with 42 straight wins. Next up for Djokovic is this week's Italian Open in Rome, where all eyes will be on the Serbian star week to see if he can extend his record-breaking win streak.

And Roger Federer Breathes a Huge Sigh of Relief

Shocker at the Australian Open yesterday! And no we're not talking about #1 Caroline Wozniacki's tale of attack kangaroos or Kim Clijsters' public smack-down of Todd Woodbridge for twittering that Clijsters looked pregnant. No the shock of the tournament was that Rafael Nadal went out in the quarterfinals in straight sets to fellow Spaniard, David Ferrer. Nadal was going for his fourth Grand Slam tournament win a row, having won the 2010 French Open, Wimbledon and U.S. Open. No man has won four Grand Slams in a row since Rod Laver last did it in 1969.
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We're disappointed for Rafa, but we're more disappointed for ourselves, and the rest of the sports world who were practically salivating for a Nadal-Federer final. Now the door is wide open for Roger Federer to take his 17th Grand Slam championship overall, which would put him three ahead of the previous record-holder, Pete Sampras, who ended his career with 14.
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Interestingly enough, almost no one doubts that the Rafael Nadal-Roger Federer rivalry is one of the greatest of all time in sports, yet they've only played each other 22 times. This pales in comparison to the other great tennis rivalry of Chris Evert-Martina Navratilova who played each other 80 times.

Is It Too Late For a John McEnroe Comeback?

The first major tennis tournament of 2011 is underway, The Australian Open. At left is player Alicia Molik and 1989 and 1990 Australian Open Champion, Ivan Lendl, who assisted a few days ago with the tournament draw.
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We've bemoaned for a few years now the disastrous state of American men's tennis, and this year's Aussie Open is no exception to that sad state. Only eight American men are in this year's championship, and three of them have already exited in the first round, including the 18th Seed, Sam Querrey, and next generation hopefuls, Donald Young and Ryan Harrison. Perennial disappointments Andy Roddick, Mardy Fish and John Isner are the best American hopes for a win left in the championship, and frankly, depending on one of those three for a major win is like hoping for Sarah Palin to win a Nobel Prize. It just ain't gonna happen.
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But despite the fact that American tennis is pathetic, and doesn't look like it's going to get any better anytime soon, we still have one of the greatest sports rivalries of all time to look forward to next week, a hopeful match-up between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. And then, there's always the easy-on-the-eyes 31st Seed and part-time model, Feliciano Lopez, who's still in the tournament.

The Greatest Rivalry

Earlier today was the final of the ATP World Tour Finals in London, the annual tournament to officially end the professional tennis year. Only the top eight players in the world are invited to participate, and these photos were taken a few days ago when the players were invited to 10 Downing Street by British Prime Minister David Cameron.
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(robin soderling, roger federer and andy murray)
.Fittingly, the finalists today were Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer, and another chapter was added to the greatest rivalry in sports. Many probably expected Rafa to end his year on an even higher note than what he has already experienced earlier in the year by winning three of the four major tournaments, The French Open, Wimbledon and The U.S. Open. But for all those who are quick to declare the end of the reign of King Roger, not so fast. Federer not only beat Nadal today, but beat him handily. Roger might be nearing 30, but he's got at least five more good years in him, and we're guessing he'll win at least a few more Grand Slam titles.
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On a sadder note, when you look at the photos below of the top eight world players, Federer, Nadal, Robin Soderling, David Ferrer, Novak Djovic, Andy Murray, Andy Roddick and Tomas Berdych, any serious tennis fan must wonder what Andy Roddick is doing in the picture. But true to form, he lost quickly and easily in the prestigious year end tournament. When, oh when, will America once again produce a great tennis champion?
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Oh, and by the way, did David Ferrer miss the memo about the black suit thing?
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The Changing of the Guard... For Real This Time

Ever since Roger Federer began to dominate men's tennis a few years back, there was the question of how long his reign would last. We might have finally seen the end of it this summer.
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(rafael nadal holds the u.s. open trophy yesterday)
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Rafael Nadal defeated Novak Djokovic yesterday in the finals of the U.S. Open, giving Nadal his first U.S. Open title and his ninth grand slam title overall. With his win, Nadal also became only the seventh tennis player in history to win all four Grand Slam tournaments. The only question, now, for Nadal, is how far will he go?
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Roger Federer first won the #1 ranking in Feb. 2004, and until this summer, had never fallen lower than #2. But with his semi-final loss to Djokovic a few days ago, Federer slipped to #3. And at age 29, Roger's dominant reign might be finally coming to an end. Can he still win another Grand Slam? Absolutely; in fact, he could still win several more. But this is about Nadal. How many more Grand Slams can Rafael Nadal win?
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(federer and djokovic, the winner and runner-up at the 2007 u.s. open)
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At age 24, Nadal already has three more Grand Slams than Federer did at 24, but this is why we think Rafael won't break Federer's record of 16 Slams. Nadal plays a very physically demanding game which is incredibly fatiguing and taxing on his body; he's already had a stomach tear and knee problems. Federer's game is much more smooth; at the end of some matches he looked like he had barely perspired, the result being that Federer has enjoyed a longevity in the game that we don't think Nadal will. In other words, we think Nadal's body will give out long before he can threaten Federer's record. But only time will tell.

The End of an Era?

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(federer leaving Centre Court

at Wimbledon today)

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Roger Federer, six-time Wimbledon champion, was eliminated today in the quarterfinals by rising Czech star, Tomas Berdych. Is it the end of the Federer era in tennis? Maybe so. This marks the first year since 2002 that Federer won't be in the Wimbledon final, and his early defeat marks the second Grand Slam in a row in which he exited in the quarterfinals. When he lost in the quarterfinals of the French Open last month, it was the first time since 2004 that he didn't make either the semi-final or final of a Grand Slam tournament. But, hey, all good things must come to an end at some point, and at age 28, (Federer will turn 29 in August), it might be Federer's time to start winding down his brilliant career. Not that he can't still win a few Grand Slams, he's perfectly capable of that, but even if he retired tomorrow, he would leave the game as one of the all time greats, if not the greatest.
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Venus Williams, who lost yesterday to an unknown opponent, might be near retirement herself. She's 30, which is dinosaur age in professional sports, and as if her loss yesterday might not have been enough of a signal, she lost today in the doubles, playing with sister Serena, her game definitely not as sharp or as strong as we're used to seeing.
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With Federer's loss, Wimbledon 2010 is up for grabs. Can Nadal take his second championship, or will this be, finally, the breakthrough year for Djokovic, Murray, or even one of the fast rising young stars, Berdych or Soderling? We'll soon see.

Don't Hold Your Breath

At Wimbledon 2010, we're into the quarterfinals.

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(roddick humilated... again)

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It's been a crazy championship so far; in the very first match, defending champion Roger Federer was almost eliminated, and had to come back from two sets down to win. American James Blake went out in the first Round, but not before cursing at Pam Shriver, who was commenting for television in the nearby stands, and yelled for her to shut up. Now, that's class.

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(james blake)

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Next up was the historic and now famous match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut which took eleven hours to complete. The match stretched out over three days and ended with a fifth set score of 70 games to 68 for Isner. Isner proceeded to the next round where he promptly went out in straight sets.

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Venus and Serena Williams are looking very strong, probably heading for another final against each other, unless Kim Cljisters can pull off an upset against Venus. Meanwhile the American men have, as usual, have fallen faster than a whore's panties at a dollar night strip club. Most embarrassingly, Roddick was eliminated today by a man ranked 82nd in the world who had never before made it past the second round of Wimbledon. Unless someone pulls a rabbit out of a hat, look for Federer and Nadal in another final.

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(the gigantic, 6'9" john isner)

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Sadly, no one has any answers for why American men's tennis is so bad, and seems to be getting worse, with no up-and-comer's in sight. Roddick will go down in history as one of the most over-ranked underachievers in American sport; he came onto the scene with a big serve, but once his opponents figured out how to return it, he had no other game. Fellow Americans James Blake, Mardy Fish and Robby Ginepri might as well retire now; they're never going to achieve anything spectacular in a grand slam championship. Many are pointing to John Isner and Sam Querrey as America's next best hopes, but don't hold your breath. It took Isner five sets and 138 games in a fifth set before he finally managed to break the serve of a guy ranked 149th in the world. Of all the American men, Sam Querrey looks like he might possibly have a game which could take him into the Top Ten in the world, but both and he and Isner are already in their mid-twenties, an age by which most tennis greats have already accomplished grand slam success. It might be too late for them.

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(sam querrey)

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One might look to the dress of the American men for clues. Okay, we know what you're thinking, "What does fashion have to do with sport?" A lot, actually. Notice how the attire of the top players, Federer, Nadal, Djokovic, Murray, is tailored and fits their bodies well. Even after long matches, these players still look well put together. Meanwhile, the American men show up in big, baggy, oversized shirts and shorts which are so big they look like something Baby Huey might have donned, and after a few sets, the Americans look completely bedraggled. At the top levels of any world class sport, the mental game becomes as important as the physical, and when one is dressed well, one exudes confidence. But when one looks like some sloppy 12 year-old whose Mommy hasn't washed his clothes in a couple of days, one doesn't exactly inspire fear in his opponent. Instead he looks like he doesn't care about himself or his game. No wonder no one is no longer frightened to play Andy Roddick or any of the other American men.

Sunday Sports

Earlier today, Roger Federer completely dismantled Andy Murray to take the 2010 Australian Open tennis title. It was Federer's 16th major title, two more than the 14 held by the former record holder, Pete Sampras.

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There has been much discussion in the sports world in the past month as to who should claim to the title of "Greatest Athlete of the Decade". Almost everyone agrees it should either be Federer or Tiger Woods, (Sports Illustrated Magazine named the Federer to the top position). To us, it's not even open for discussion. First, we don't consider golf a sport; a sport in which there isn't even any running involved can't seriously be considered a "sport". A New York Times columnist also pointed out that golf is the only "sport" in which you can gain weight while playing! Golf is a "game", albeit a highly skilled game, but nevertheless, a "game" and not a "sport". But regardless of how one feels about golf, the question of which is the better athlete, Federer or Woods, is laughable. Watching Federer's swift footwork around the court has been compared to that of the greatest ballet dancers; it's quite easy to imagine that Federer could play any number of sports and be good at them. Meanwhile, has anyone ever even seen Tiger Woods so much as break into a slow trot? And running from a golf-club wielding Elin Woods doesn't count.

Tuesday Morning Hangover

Serena Williams finally offered a sincere and heartfelt apology for her angry tirade at a lineswoman during the U.S. Open last week. Good for her. Now, Joe Wilson and Kanye West, take notes.
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South Carolina douchebag Joe Wilson first apologized for his "You lie!" shout at Pres. Obama last week, but as more and more right wing crazies squealed and flogged their privates in support of his outrageous act of disrespect, he began to dig in his heels. And now he's almost reveling in his new found notoriety and how he earned it. Fine. Keep it up Repub's. Keep letting more and more of the fringe element take over your party. You've already become almost irrelevent as a political party, and with more of this type of stuff, you're definitely headed for the tar pits.

Back to tennis, we're still in shock at Roger Federer's loss last night in the Men's Final of the U.S. Open to Argentinian Juan Martin del Potro. The 5-time defending champion, Federer, had the match on his racket several times, but it seemed as if he couldn't shake off his anger over some questionable calls, at one point even cursing the Umpire. Not to take away from del Potro; he's been the hottest player on tour all summer, but Roger and Serena should remember that you still have to earn your wins, and not just have them handed to you because you're the best players. In the end, we think it was Federer's and Williams' arrogance which did them in this time.

Jay Leno's new prime time show premiered last night. Television executives are salivating over the show's success or failure because the show is so much cheaper to produce than a scripted show. The suits see dollar signs. Maybe they should worry more about hiring the most creative writers, producers and actors, and then the ratings and profits would come. Because when your biggest concern is profit margin, you can be assured that 9 out of 10 times you'll turn out dreck. And for what it's worth, Leno's show was close to... well, what's something that's a little less disgusting than dreck? Dreck-Lite?

An Instant Classic!

(roger federer and rafael nadal, and nadal consoles federer at net)

The greatest rivalry in sports continued earlier today as Roger Federer met Rafael Nadal in the finals of the Australian Open. Despite Nadal's recent domination of Federer on grass and clay, no one really thought Nadal could defeat Federer in a hard court final. But Nadal proved, once again, that we underestimate his talent, and Federer also proved, once again, that in a tight match, he seems unable to adjust his game and also take charge of his emotions. It was a classic five-set match, with Nadal taking the final set 6-2 while Federer crumbled under the pressure.

But the greatest drama came during the awards presentation. As Federer stepped to the microphone to speak, he broke down and starting crying. Federer is a great champion, unaccustomed to losing, and he has the added pressure of trying to break Pete Sampras' all-time record of 14 Grand Slam Titles. If Federer had won today, it would have been his 14th.

And then, in one of the classiest moves we've ever seen in sport, Nadal went over, put his arm around Federer, nuzzled his face, whispered in his ear, and they smiled. Wow. What a moment. Take a lesson, kids, these two athletes are not only two of the greatest athletes of all time, in any sport, but also embued with a level of class and grace of which most other professional athletes could only dream.