Melissa Leo Makes F**king History

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It was hard to find many highlights in the Oscar show. One entertainment writer wrote the next day that he was horrified by the presence of an elderly, frail Kirk Douglas struggling through his lines, but was more horrified at the end of the night when he realized that Douglas was the high point of the show. We might have to agree with that one.
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We were thrilled to see Melissa Leo win her Oscar, until she took the stage for her acceptance speech. Leo is one of those actors who's been kicking around Hollywood for decades, and it was great to see such a talented actress finally get her reward. But then that speech, good god. She rambled, she looked around, she was speechless, and then she made Oscar history by becoming the first person ever to utter the word "fuck" on the show. Poor Leo. You know you've screwed up when the show is forced to recruit Kirk Douglas to pull you off the stage.

2011 Oscar Winners

Last night's Oscar winners: Christian Bale, Best Supporting Actor for "The Fighter"; Natalie Portman, Best Actress for "Black Swan"; Melissa Leo, Best Supporting Actress for "The Fighter"; and Colin Firth, Best Actor for "The King's Speech".

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Our complete Oscar coverage later today.

Buyer's Remorse at The Oscars?

Over two weeks ago, we declared the Oscar race over, as did most of the other credible entertainment reporters in the known universe. It's pretty much consensus at this point that the big winners on Oscar night will be Colin Firth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale, Melissa Leo and "The King's Speech".

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(annette bening)

.But not so fast. Now, less than a week after the race was signed, sealed and almost delivered, some reporters are beginning to have second thoughts. Almost every theory short of "Magic Bullet 2" has been floated to suggest that Annette Bening, Hailee Steinfeld and Geoffrey Rush could still win. Maybe, but we doubt it.

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(melissa leo in one of her infamous trade ads)

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Melissa Leo, in particular, has earned a lot of raised eyebrows because of the trade ads she bought which show her in glamorous attire, asking for consideration for votes. Some industry insiders think that for a nominated actor to run such ads smells of desperation and might turn off some voters. To which we say, "Bitch, please!". If an Oscar voter would let a trade ad make his/her decision as to whether an actor's performance is Oscar-worthy, then that Oscar voter should probably have his/her voting rights removed. Remember, Academy members, you're supposed to be voting on "quality of performance", not for junior high prom queen. Get it together, or else you might as well be The People's Choice Awards.

So Much for Facebook Friends

It's over. Charlie Sheen has sent the last hooker home, Elvis has left the building and the fat lady has sung. "The Social Network" will not win the Oscar for Best Picture, it will go instead to "The King's Speech". Just a few shorts weeks ago, it looked as if "The Social Network" would cruise to an easy Oscar win after winning all the earlier critics awards, but now, "The King's Speech" has won the Producers Guild Award, the Directors Guild Award, and last night, the SAG Award for Best Actors Ensemble. It's done.
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If you're wondering how a movie could be almost universally recognized by every critic in the country as the year's best movie, and not win the Oscar for Best Picture, you just have to remember one thing, the people who vote for the Oscars are not critics. Oscar voters and movie critics are two, very different animals. Don't see the difference? Imagine Sarah Palin going on the show, "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"; Sarah Palin and a reasonably intelligent 5th grader: two very different animals. Got it now?

(melissa leo wins for best

supporting actress)

Not that we're saying the Oscar voters are as dumb as Sarah Palin, it's just that Oscar voters vote for movies and their fellow actors for a lot of reasons other than "critical assessment". Oscar voters vote for sentiment, career achievement, popularity, and sometimes, only sometimes, for critical reasons.

One movie critic today wrote that the Oscar voters should "be forgiven for they know not what they do", in an obvious reference to the fact that he thinks "The King's Speech" is an inferior movie to "The Social Network" and shouldn't win the Oscar for Best Picture. Now he knows how millions of us felt a few years ago when we watched the inferior "Crash" beat out "Brokeback Mountain" for the Best Picture Oscar. Thank you.

As for last night's SAG Awards, do we really need another nationally televised show in which multi-millionaire actors hand each other trophies which only serve to further inflate their already massively bloated egos? No. No, we don't. But our opinion won't stop the SAG's from happening, so we are left with no other choice than to make fun of them and everyone on them.


Natalie Portman won for Best Actress, and she's beautiful, graceful and composed. But come on, Natalie, bring back the donkey laugh. At the Golden Globes, she was in the middle of a very refined speech, and then she started to crack from nervousness, and this thing came out of her mouth that could only be described as the sound made by an excited, very confused barnyard animal. Whether or not Natalie will win the Oscar is a foregone conclusion; she will. The thing we'll be watching for that night is if she can manage to keep the door closed on the donkey. God, we hope not.



Ernest Borgnine got a Lifetime Achievement Award. Well deserved. This guy made his first movie in 1951 and, of course, won the Oscar for Best Actor for 1955's "Marty". And at 94, he's still working; so far for 2011, he has three movies coming out. Take that, Betty White!
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Speaking of Betty White, she won an award last night for her role on the sitcom, "Hot in Cleveland", and as usual, she stole the show last night. She did a quick comedic bit in her acceptance speech, proving that she can do more comedically in two seconds than what some actresses can do in an entire movie. And yes, we're looking at you, Jennifer Aniston.







Christian Bale won the Best Supporting Actor award for "The Fighter". It's amazing how fast this guy has gone from quirky character roles to sexy leading man.


Julianna, Julianna, Julianna. Oh dear, where do we start? She's a real head-scratcher. She wins award after award, but why, oh god, why? She's as charismatic as a bag of wet potato chips; she's so boring that the U.S. Government is trying to find a way to bottle her performances into a spray gas which we'll use on Al Qaeda which will simply put them to sleep. She bored us for years on "E.R." and now she's bringing all of her emotional range, (both facial expressions), to something called "The Good Wife". Dear god. And then we have to watch her win an award and thank everyone she's ever met, and everyone who helped her to get where she is now. We'd actually like to track down those people and hurt them. Julianna, please make it stop. Please use your talent somewhere more suited for your demeanor, at the DMV where a blank, vacant stare is in high demand.




Taye Diggs and Sofia Vergara presented an award. Wow. Beautiful face with perfect features and full lips, incredibly sexy body. Wow. And Sofia's not bad, either. Thank you.

Someone's Having the Best Breakfast of His/Her Life

Well, the Oscar nominations have been announced, and let's check our predictions. Below are the actual nominees, followed by the people who we guessed would get them. And yes, we wimped out in three of the categories when we couldn't decide who would get the final spot, so in the parenthesis are our best guesses for who would get the final nomination spot.

(melissa leo in "the fighter")

Best Actor-
The Nominees: Colin Firth, Jesse Eisenberg, James Franco, Jeff Bridges, Javier Bardem
We guessed: Colin Firth, Jesse Eisenberg, James Franco, Mark Wahlberg, (Jeff Bridges or Javier Bardem)

-Wahlberg didn't come through as we thought he would, but his consolation prize is the fact that the film he worked so many years to make, "The Fighter", got a nod for Best Picture. And in Bardem's case, it looks like Oscar campaigning works. His movie, "Biutiful", got absolutely no attention, but everyone in Hollywood that saw it crowed loudly about Bardem's performance and started the peer pressure train in motion to recognize Bardem. It worked.

Best Actress-
The Nominees: Natalie Portman, Nicole Kidman, Annette Bening, Jennifer Lawrence, Michelle Williams
We guessed: Natalie Portman, Nicole Kidman, Annette Bening, Jennifer Lawrence, Julianne Moore
 
-Julianne Moore didn't make it; Michelle Williams snuck in to take her spot. We didn't see that one coming.

Best Supporting Actor-
The Nominees: Christian Bale, Geoffrey Rush, John Hawkes, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner
We guessed: Christian Bale, Geoffrey Rush, John Hawkes, Mark Ruffalo, (Andrew Garfield, Jeremy Renner or Robert Duvall)

-Jeremy Renner got the final spot, as we guessed that he might, but we're a little surprised that Andrew Garfield didn't; Garfield had all the early buzz.

Best Supporting Actress-
The Nominees: Melissa Leo, Hailee Steinfeld, Jackie Weaver, Amy Adams, Helena Bonham Carter
We guessed: Melissa Leo, Hailee Steinfeld, Jackie Weaver, Amy Adams, (Mila Kunis, Lesley Manville, Barbara Hershey, Sissy Spacek or Dianne Wiest)

-We didn't know who would get that final spot, and we didn't even come close to guessing it. It probably would have gone to Mila Kunis, but Helena Bonham Carter snuck in to take it away from her.

We didn't guess which ten movies would get nominations for Best Picture, but here are the ten which earned them:
"The King's Speech", "The Social Network", "Toy Story 3", "Inception", "True Grit", "Black Swan", "The Fighter", "The Kids Are All Right", "127 Hours", "Winter's Bone".

 -We're thrilled that "Winter's Bone" snuck in to take a spot. It didn't get a lot of mainstream attention, but it's a hell of a good movie. And from its lack of nominations, it looks like "The Social Network" is continuing to lose steam as a possible big winner on Oscar night. If it doesn't win Best Picture, it will be because it peaked too early, winning too many awards too early, which makes the Oscar voters want to reward other movies which they feel haven't gotten their due, (the underdog effect). Or it could be because of what many have whispered, that the Academy is still mostly older folks, who don't appreciate Facebook or the young whippersnappers who they think are too obsessed with it.

(jennifer lawrence and john hawkes in "winter's bone")

We don't care much about the Directors, but the biggest snub of the morning seems to be Christopher Nolan's failure to get a Best Director nomination for "Inception", which got eight nominations overall. It looks like the Coen Brothers got his spot for "True Grit".

Now, as far as who will win the highly coveted trophies, we think Colin Firth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale and Melissa Leo should go ahead and start writing acceptance speeches. See you on Feb. 27!

Place Your Bets Now: The Oscar Race Heads For The Final Turn

Many entertainment writers are bemoaning the fact that the Oscar nominations haven't even been announced yet, but yet we already know who is going to win the coveted golden trophies next month. And while, yes, it's true that there aren't any surprises anymore in the Oscar race, it's not because of the dearth of pre-Oscar awards which are handed out, but because most awards voters are afraid to defy popular opinion. In other words, once momentum starts to build for a particular actor or movie, then, instead of deciding for themselves which movies and performances are the year's best, too many voters simply succumb to peer pressure and just agree with everyone else.

.(above- jennifer lawrence in "winter's bone")

.Take this year's Oscar race for instance. Is "The Social Network" really the masterpiece of cinema that one would believe it to be? After all, the movie has won 24 out of 29 of the critics groups movie awards and has now won the Golden Globe. Many respected critics have said that no, it isn't a "great" movie, yet for some reason, most of those same critics voted for it as the year's best movie. So don't blame the lack of suspense in the Oscar race on the number of awards, instead blame the lack of suspense on the fact that so many critics and awards voters are afraid to voice their own opinion. If fifteen different movies had won the 29 critics groups awards so far, we'd all be guessing like crazy who would win the Oscar this year instead of haven already engraved the title "The Social Network" on the naked golden man for Best Picture..So with the wins already decided for Oscar 2011, (Colin Firth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale, Melissa Leo), the only guessing game is who will get the nominations? The nominations will be announced in a just a few days, on January 25, but until then, here's who we think will get the coveted spots.
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(melissa leo in "the fighter")
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.Best Actor - Colin Firth, Jesse Eisenberg, James Franco are locks. But who will get the final two spots? Mark Wahlberg is a good bet to claim a nod, but that final spot is wide open. Jeff Bridges? Javier Bardem?

Best Actress - This is the category that is probably the most set in stone. We'd be shocked if anyone but these five women got a nomination: Natalie Portman, Annette Bening, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and Jennifer Lawrence. Halle Berry could sneak in, except that we can't imagine who would get pushed aside for her to do that. You can almost take this one to the bank.
. Best Supporting Actor - Christian Bale and Geoffrey Rush are locks, and then it gets iffy. We're guessing that Mark Ruffalo and John Hawkes will take the next two spots, but as with the Best Actor category, that last spot could go to anyone. Best bets are Andrew Garfield, Jeremy Renner or Robert Duvall. And then, of course, there's Michael Douglas, who just beat cancer, so don't count him out for sentimental reasons.

(jeremy renner in "the town")

Best Supporting Actress - Melissa Leo, Hailee Steinfeld and Jackie Weaver are the locks for nominations, and this is also the only category which might actually surprise on Oscar night, although we think the path is becoming clearer for a Melissa Leo win. Amy Adams, a perennial Oscar favorite will probably sneak in, which would then leave one spot open. Possibilities to grab that last nomination are Mila Kunis, Lesley Manville and after that it could be anyone. Barbara Hershey? Sissy Spacek? Thandie Newton? Dianne Wiest?

Much Ado About Nothing

A couple of days ago, we gave you the highlights of the Miss America Pageant, and now it's time to scan the high points of another event in which pretty people are asked to whore themselves in public while groveling for money and attention, The 2011 Golden Globes Awards, which took place on Sunday night.
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First let's get the obvious out of the way. By now, unless you've been hiding out in the backwoods of Alabama, plotting to shoot up an abortion clinic, you've certainly heard about host Ricky Gervais'
"outrageous" jokes he made about many of the stars at the Awards. Among other things, he introduced Bruce Willis as "Ashton Kutcher's dad", he said that "many of you probably know Robert Downey, Jr. from the rehab clinic and the L.A. County Jail", and he openly mocked the fact that the Globes nominated the critically savaged movie, "The Tourist". But let's get real, he didn't say anything that wasn't true, and that wasn't hilarious to hear. The ratings for the Globes went up this year, and over 70% of viewers polled yesterday said that they thought Gervais was very funny and entertaining. So the only people really insulted by Gervais' humor were a handful of celebrities who were the butt of his jokes. And do we feel sorry for a bunch of spoiled movie stars who are vastly overpaid for not even working very hard? No. No, we don't. In fact, our advice to movie stars in 2011 is that if you're going to get paid millions of dollars for working a few weeks a year by speaking lines in front of a camera, then you should not only be forced to be the butt of jokes every so often, but also keep your mouth shut while listening to them, and silently thanking god for your extraordinarily good luck in life.
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And now, with that out of the way, the winners were no surprise. The four major acting winners were Colin Firth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale and Melissa Leo. These are the same four who will also probably win the Oscars next month, unless Hailee Steinfeld can edge out Leo for the Supporting Actress prize. We were most happy to see Melissa Leo get some recognition; she's one of those people who's been knocking around Hollywood for many years, and is just now beginning to realize her potential. Natalie Portman was the essence of grace and poise in her acceptance speech until she let loose with some incoherent ramble about her boyfriend knocking her up with a baby, afterwhich she emitted what can best be described as a full-on donkey laugh.
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Robert DeNiro got a lifetime achievement award, and in his acceptance speech, made several jokes. He should not have. Luckily, humor was more adroitly handled by Tina Fey and Steve Carell, who are so funny, and so funny together, that we just keep scratching our heads and wondering why the Oscar people have never asked them to host the Academy Awards. Actually, on second thought, DeNiro did get out one funny line in which he "was glad that the Globes people decided to give him the award before they saw "Little Fockers". Amen, sister, amen!





We've always thought Christian Bale was sexy, and we're actually digging the Jesus H. Christ look with the long hair. But please, Christian, no more movies in which you have to starve yourself.  You can keep your own body next time; it's called "acting".
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Annette Bening got the Best Actress trophy in a Comedy for "The Kids Are All Right", which is strange, considering that the movie is not a comedy. But it's okay, we feel really bad for Bening since she was the early odds-on favorite to finally win an Oscar this year until the juggernaut of momentum shifted in Natalie Portman's favor.
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"True Grit"'s new star, Hailee Steinfeld made her first appearance as a newly-minted movie star when she took the stage as a presenter, and for such a young girl, and a novice in the industry, she was completely poised and really quite beautiful. Sadly, though, Steinfeld was forced to share the stage with the much shorter, and much more immature, Justin Bieber. The two teens are almost the same age, but watching them together was like watching a mature, 21 year-old college coed allow her 4th grade nephew to stay up past his bedtime to accompany her to the party with the grown-ups. Jesus. Take notes, Bieber.

Attention K-Mart Shoppers: Today's Blue Light Special, 50% Off on All Golden Globes!

Despite the hype surrounding the publicity behemoth that is tonight's Golden Globes Awards, most industry insiders don't see the Hollywood Foreign Press's annual bestowing of movie awards as a serious indicator of Oscar success. The Golden Globes, over the years, have been tainted by too many scandals, including a brand new one accusing the head of the HFP of taking kickbacks and bribes for nominations, to be taken seriously as an objective measure of the best of Hollywood's annual output. For those who really wanted to gauge the latest scoreboard on the 2011 Oscars, all eyes were on Friday night's Critics Choice Movie Awards, which are awarded annually by the largest U.S. critics' group, the Broadcast Film Critics Association. The Critics Choice Movie Awards are the final awards given by a critics group before the hoopla of the Golden Globes, the SAG's, and the Oscar nominations themselves, and they have the distinction of being a very accurate predictor of Oscar success. The Critics correctly predicted the Oscar Best Picture the past four years in a row, and eight of the past ten years. On Friday night, the Critics awarded "The Social Network" as Best Picture, Colin Firth as Best Actor, Natalie Portman as Best Actress, Christian Bale as Best Supporting Actor and Melissa Leo as Best Supporting Actress.

Oscar Grub - Balls to the Wall

The Best Supporting Actor category for the upcoming 2011 Oscars is quickly taking shape, and it looks to be a two-man race between Mark Ruffalo for "The Kids Are All Right" and Geoffrey Rush for "The King's Speech". Rush has won the Best Actor trophy before, and it's rare to win more than one Oscar, plus Ruffalo is one of those actors that is beloved by the Academy but has never even gotten a nomination before. But not so fast, Ruffalo, there's only one problem standing in your way: Rush has been earning the best reviews of his career for "The King's Speech".

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Other strong contenders include newcomer Andrew Garfield for "The Social Network", Christian Bale for "The Fighter" and Matt Damon for "True Grit". But "The Fighter" and "True Grit" haven't even been released yet, so we'll have to wait and see what kind of reviews those guys get for those flicks. In the "Are You Out of Your Fucking Mind" category, there's even some talk that Justin Timberlake could grab a nomination for "The Social Network", but come on, unless they come up with a new Academy division for fro-headed, moderately talented actors who also put out really bad pop music, we ain't buying it. Timberlake will more likely grab a Golden Globe, which is sort of like the cotton candy version of an Oscar, but hey, if Madonna and Sharon Stone can take home a Globe, there's no reason why Timberlake can't buy one, too.

(below: Melissa Leo and Christian Bale in "The Fighter";

and Andrew Garfield in "The Social Network")

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