Single White Female

We've had a lot of fun watching the various senatorial debates this week. Surprisingly, the good news is that Christine O'Donnell didn't come across as crazy at all in her debate, the bad news is she just comes across as dumb. There is no way in hell she has the intellect to be a U.S. Senator. Sorry, Tea Baggers, but there are still some jobs that "C" and "D" average students have no business trying to do. Can you imagine Christine O'Donnell taking a trip to a foreign country as a U.S. Senator and representing our country? Holy Jesus! And Sharron Angle is just... well, unhinged. Some of her ideas sound like they're coming from the guy who stands on the street corner in a robe and screams that the world is ending. And then, of course, there's Sarah Palin, who combines Angle's loopiness with O'Donnell's lack of smarts to create the perfect storm of tea bagging crazy.
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Look, all kidding aside, we get the Tea Party, believe it or not. We get where all the anger is coming from. Our Congress is corrupt almost beyond repair, and there seems to be no one in sight who has the moral courage to stand up for what's right. We get it. But what the Tea Baggers don't get is that putting dimwits and people who think we never landed on the moon in positions of leadership is not going to solve anything, in fact, it'll just make the situation worse. But since the election of some of these nutjobs looks to be inevitable, we've got some advice to those who are worried about their influence on Congress: Just sit back and enjoy it while it lasts. Because if you think they're saying some crazy things now, just wait until they get to Congress. The late-night comedians and political pundits are going to have a field day. And remember also that they won't last long. Americans always come to their senses, sooner or later, and when they see the real extent of the Tea Bagger Crazy on full display in the actual halls of Congress, then the Tea Baggers won't have to worry about re-election, trust us.

10.10.10

Today is one of those very rare numerical calendar dates; today is 10.10.10. Some might see that numerical confluence as an omen of good luck, while others might see it as a day which will bring nothing but horror, sort of like the kind depicted here in this still from the recent movie, "The Last Exorcism". That would be... oh... wait a minute, that's not a movie, that's a photograph of Christine O'Donnell's campaign staff attempting to prep her for an upcoming political debate. Sorry, our bad. Never mind.

I Want My Country Back... From Christine O'Donnell

This morning, a news headline blared at us from all the internet news sites: "Deputies searched a wide swath of Southern California early Sunday for a break-off religious sect of 13 people that included children as young as three and left behind letters indicating they were awaiting an apocalyptic event and would soon see Jesus and their dead relatives in heaven, authorities said."

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Wait a minute, that's no mystery. Isn't that religious sect the Tea Party?

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Bill Maher debuted the new season of his show, "Real Time", on HBO on Friday night, and he and his panel of guests spent a lot of time discussing the rise of the Tea Party movement. They wondered what the "Tea Baggers" mean when they say "they want their country back", and they wondered how the Republican Party/Tea Baggers always manage to successfully convince the middle and lower classes of Americans to vote against their own self interests. Those questions aren't that difficult to answer, i.e. "wanting one's country back" is code for "I don't like the fact that Blacks and Mexicans are beginning to have real political and economic power", and they convince regular Americans to vote for crazy economic policies and against sensible plans like health care reform by scaring the shit out of them. Fear is big in the Tea Bagger movement.

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But just like other fringe political movements, the Tea Baggers might not be long for this world. Sharon Angle has already said so many crazy things in Nevada that she's actually now trailing Harry Reid, who was considered political dead meat just a few months ago. And the newest Tea Bagger darling, Christine O'Donnell, is awaking this morning to headlines of her own. A Washington watchdog group, the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, said on CNN that they will be sending letters on Monday to the U.S. Attorney's Office in Delaware and the Federal Elections Commission asking for an investigation of O'Donnell. At question is more than $20,000 in campaign funds which O'Donnell allegedly spent on personal expenses, which is, of course, illegal.

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O'Donnell has said that the claim is just an attempt to discredit her. Isn't it interesting how the Tea Baggers scream for "a return to honor" until the honor at question is their own? Come on, Christine, put on your "man pants" and come clean. If you didn't do anything wrong, then you'll show up Monday morning at the U.S. Attorney's office with all your paperwork and prove your innocence. Just because you're a mental deficient does not mean that you get to break the law. However, it might get you a show on Fox News.

Sexual Obsession Run Amok!

Sarah Palin-backed, Tea Bagger candidate Christine O'Donnell won her election last night in the Delaware Republican primary for Joe Biden's senate seat. Wow.
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We love going to the Google and Yahoo articles about this topic and reading the hundreds of public comments. From those comments, the Tea Baggers think that we, on the Left, are afraid of someone like O'Donnell because she's not a Democrat. No, we're afraid of her because she's dumber than Sarah Palin and nuttier than Michelle Bachman. Now, that's f**king scary!
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We also love how Christine O'Donnell mentioned on "The Today Show" this morning that she won because her voters realized that "we're going broke in this country". You're right, Miss O'Donell, we are going broke. So is this why you've sided with the people who gave us two unwinnable wars in the Middle East that are currently costing us $2 Billion per week, who propose spending hundreds of millions on a metal fence on the Mexican border that won't keep anyone out of this country, and who want to extend tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans that will cost the U.S. another $700 Billion over the next ten years? Is this your idea of fiscal responsibility?
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Oh, and by the way, only moments after complaining that America is heading toward bankruptcy, she asked for help to raise $1 Million to win her election in November. Is irony completely lost on the Republicans? We think so.

Palin Recruits Another Sexual Deviant

All the talk today is about the Republican Senate primary in Delaware. Incumbent Mike Castle is facing a tough challenge from Tea Bagger candidate Christine O'Donnell. In the past few days, the more the media talked about Christine O'Donnell, we kept thinking, "Where have we seen her before?" And then it hit us. Several years ago when Bill Maher was doing his "Politically Incorrect" show on ABC, O'Donnell was a frequent guest. At the time, she was president of S.A.L.T., a grassroots organization to promote celibacy, and how can we put this politely: she's a nut. Not only does O'Donnell, a right-wing Christian zealot, truly believe that teens can be sexually abstinent, but she also believes that masturbation is a sin and that viewing pornography is cheating on one's spouse. Wow. Oh, and she's also being backed by Sarah Palin. Oh my.
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Okay, listen, everyone's entitled to her opinion, even crazy Tea Baggers. But come on, this is 2010, and if we're going to find real solutions to social problems like teen pregnancy and the soaring divorce rate, taking advice from naive, cognitively immature crankjobs like Christine O'Donnell is not going to get us there. And the last place this strange, little girl needs to be is in the U.S. Senate. Holy Jesus!
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Of course, many observers are already noting that, lately, and especially in the Republican Party, when one protests or complains too loudly about sexual matters, it means that person probably has a kinky sex skeleton or two in her own closet. But even if Christine O'Donnell doesn't have an array of lube-soaked donkey dildos hiding underneath her bed, this woman is a ticking time bomb. Think about it: she doesn't have sex, she doesn't look at porn and she doesn't masturbate. Holy crap, one day soon this girl is literally going to explode!