Twitters of the Day

The world of Twitter is not nearly as fun as it used to be. When Twitter was new, every low-I.Q.'ed bimbo in Hollywood regularly embarrassed themselves by saying what was ever on their minds, even when there was nothing on their minds, which was often. But unfortunately for us, a lot of celebrities embarrassed themselves once too often, causing their P.R. people to step in and call a halt to their mindless jibber-jabber, which sucked for our "Twitters of the Day" feature here at East Village Afternoon. But there's always a silver lining to every dark cloud, and fortunately for us, for some of those Twitterers, the need for attention is stronger than any sense of personal pride. Thank you, Jesus!

Below are the best and the worst Twitters of the past few weeks...

Bill Maher - 5.14.11
Love the Glenn Beck-Megan McCain feud - he's all like "you're fat" and she's all "Nah ah" - see why the Republicans are the party of ideas?

Joan Rivers - 5.14.11
Katie Holmes is allegedly pregnant, again!?! The baby will have her eyes and the turkey baster’s nose.

5.15.11
Katie Holmes is denying she’s pregnant. It turns out the baby bump was an overnight bag from her latest escape attempt from Tom Cruise.

Alec Mapa - 5.12.11
The Shake Weight for men commercial just replaced me as the gayest thing on television.

5.12.11
I haven't followed Idol all season, but I just tuned in and there's a drag queen named Lauren!

Denis Leary - 5.12.11
Newt Gingrich enters prez race. He doesnt even have a 50% approval rating from other guys named Newt.

And from the less gifted among us...

Paris Hilton - 5.11.11
Just had an amazing facial.

(Unintentional joke score!)

Heidi Montag - 4.5.11
People keep asking what my new show is about. I say - imagine if Chekov & Tolstoy wrote for reality TV.

(Someone needs to tell her the famous Russian writer was Chekhov; Chekov was the Russian guy on Star Trek.)






Kim Kardashian - 5.9.11
When I walked into dinner it was warm outside, now walking out its pouring rain? What's going on LA?

(Yes, weather is so confusing. Oh my.)









And then there are some Twitterers who aren't completely brainless, but still can't keep from stepping in it...


John Mayer - 4.23.11
I think Justin Bieber is a really over-rated singer.

4.23.11
I'm sorry if some of you are pissed of about it but its what I really think of him.

(Glass houses, John... big, shiny, glass houses.)

It's Zsa Zsa, Darling

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Well, it sounds as if we're about to lose Zsa Zsa. This is one of those posts that, if you're under 40, you probably won't have any f**king idea of who we're talking about.
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.Zsa Zsa Gabor has been battling health problems all summer, and the latest news is that she was returned to the hospital yesterday, unresponsive.
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For the younger set, the Gabor Sisters, simply put, were the Kardashians of their day. They were famous for being famous. The Hungarian-born sisters, Magda, Zsa Zsa and Eva were spurred on by their stage mother, Jolie, and eventually all became actresses and socialites who stayed in the public eye for decades. Unlike the Kardashians, though, the Gabors, especially Eva and Zsa Zsa, did have a certain amount of comedic talent and skill as actors, and both managed to sustain acting careers which spanned four decades. Zsa Zsa's most famous film role was in 1952's "Moulin Rouge", while Eva co-starred on the long-running CBS hit comedy, "Green Acres", 1965-71.
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(eva gabor and eddie albert

in "green acres")

.Zsa Zsa was married nine times, most notably to Conrad Hilton, the founder of the Hilton Hotel chain, and great-grandfather to another socialite who is famous for being famous, Paris Hilton. While married to Conrad, Zsa Zsa slept with her step-son, Nicky Hilton, who later went on to marry Elizabeth Taylor. And you wondered how Paris Hilton came to be so fabulous, it looks like she learned a lot from her former step-great grandmother.
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(the gabor sisters:

magda, eva and zsa zsa)

.Zsa Zsa gained notoriety in 1989 for slapping a Los Angeles police officer after she was pulled over for a traffic violation. The incident resulted in a very famous three day trial, in which Zsa Zsa was found guilty and sentenced to three days in jail. The incident became so famous it was spoofed in 1991's "The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear" and in the 1993 film, "The Beverly Hillbillies". But after a lifetime of movie, t.v. show, stage and talk show appearances, our favorite Zsa Zsa performance was her famous bit for "The David Letterman Show" in which she drove around Los Angeles with David Letterman eating from several fast food restaurants. So funny.

Celebrity Vacays 2010

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Yes, celebrities take vacations just like the rest of us, but unlike the sunny headlines of the entertainment blogs which tell you what the celebs are "supposedly" doing, we'll tell you what's really going on.

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Here is Kate Hudson taking a little R&R and reading her next possible film script. What you can't see are the notes on every other page from the producer who sent her the script which say, "You are going to take acting lessons, right? Oh, God, please take some acting lessons." Ouch. And by the way, where are those new boobs she just bought?

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Here is Jessica Simpson celebrating her 30th birthday with her newest boyfriend. They ate at The Cheesecake Factory... they closed it down.

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Rafael Nadal on a beach somewhere. No comment needed, just look and enjoy.
You're welcome.

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LeBron James taking a nice little jog on the beach? Hell, no! Still pissed off-as-hell Cleveland Cavalier fans have chased him out of Cleveland, torn off his clothes, and as he arrives in Miami, he's still running. Enjoy South Beach, LeBron.

 

Paris and Nicky Hilton on a jetty on their way to a private yacht. Just before the driver of the jetty passed out from the heat, he managed to mutter to the famous socialites, "All you have to know is your right from your left, and you can find

your own way to the yacht."

They circled the bay for hours.