The Best "Survivor" Ever?

Imagine if you pulled your best friend aside and shared some evil gossip about another person with that friend. Then imagine that you and your best friend walk into a room with that person who you just verbally back-stabbed, and your best friend proceeds to loudly tell that person everything you just said about that person.
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Now you have some idea of what happened on Wednesday night's season premiere of CBS's "Survivor". Critics and t.v. columnists keep trying to write off this long-running show, but we gotta tell ya, the show just keeps getting better and better.
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We thought the early fireworks would come from veteran villains, Russell and Boston Rob, but no, the "Survivor" casting people found someone so crazy, so ego-maniacal, that he makes Russell and Rob's machinations look like child's play. We're speaking, of course, about Phillip, the self-described "former federal agent" who's really a nutty misogynist who likes to walk around in droopy, hot pink underwear briefs.
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(at right: boston rob and phillip,

below: francesca)

.The jaw-dropping moment of the show came when Phillip's tribe went to tribal council to vote one of their own off the show. Earlier, Francesca and Kristina had alligned with Phillip to vote off Boston Rob, but then, the first words out of Phillip's mouth at tribal council was the spilling of the plan in front of everyone. It was a shocking moment; it was so real and in the moment that we couldn't keep from squirming while watching it. Despite the fact that we think we're unshockable as a society, to witness someone publicly breaking all rules and boundaries of socially acceptable behavior, even on a reality show, is still a little unsettling. In the end, Francesca was voted off. But in this year's "Survivor", each person voted off has a chance to return to the game. So all we can say is that Phillip better hope Francesca doesn't come back. There'll be hell to pay if she does.
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Luckily, one thing that never changes about "Survivor" is the fact that the show always manages to cast great looking guys, and this season is no exception. The best looking among this group includes Mike, Steve, Grant and Matt, (pictured below). Oddly enough, Steve and Grant are former professional football players, and Mike played college football. We're not sure what's up with that, but it should prove to be interesting in the physical challenges.
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Suck It!

It's a big day for birthdays in Hollywood, and two of our favorites are blowing out the candles today.
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Kathy Griffin, the funniest bitch on the planet, and the best friend the gay community ever had, is having the biggest day; she hits 50 today. The girl from Chicago who's not afraid of a little plastic surgery, or Elisabeth Hasselbeck, looks better than ever, and after watching her new Bravo stand-up show last night, "Kathy Griffin... On Crutches", we have to say, she's funnier than ever as well.
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We just happened to be sitting in the audience at The Gay and Lesbian Center in West Hollywood just over ten years ago when Griffin first tried out her now famous comedy routine of "celebrity mockery". No one that night knew what to expect; it's hard to remember that just a few years back, Griffin was only known for a featured role on the sitcom "Suddenly Susan", and a few other scattered t.v. appearances, but the Miss Kathy we know and love today hadn't emerged yet. We only went because the tickets were cheap and we thought she had been funny on "Susan", but we couldn't talk any of our friends into going with us that night; everyone said "Kathy, who?". Well, we lucked out. It was that night that the Kathy Griffin we know today was born. She started out making fun of Liza Minelli, everyone gasped, and just a few minutes into the show, the entire audience was holding their sides, howling in laughter; some people were literally crying and having a hard time catching their breaths from laughing so hard. She really put it all out there that night. We had never seen anything like it, and soon after, the whole world got to see what we saw that night.
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Today is the 48th birthday of the one of the sexiest t.v. hosts of all time, "Survivor's" Jeff Probst. This guy doesn't dance, sing or tell jokes, but he's got more charisma in that smile and those famous dimples than most other entertainers have in a lifetime. We love this guy.
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Oh, by the way, today is also the 41st birthday of actor and surfer dude, Matthew McConaughey. Hey, the guy might not be much of an actor or performer, actually the guy has no real discernible talent of any kind, but it's okay, he's always had other... assets. And hey, you gotta give the guy credit, he still looks pretty damn good at 41; this is definitely not your grandfather's 41.
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Probst and Purple Rain

But thankfully, sometimes people with real talent win Emmy Awards. Two such winners which caught our attention at last night's Creative Arts Emmy Awards were Jeff Probst and Wendy and Lisa.

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Jeff Probst won his third straight Emmy Award for hosting CBS's long-running reality competition show, "Survivor". Probst is one of those guys who follows the Bob Barker mold of television performers in that he probably can't act, dance or sing, but he's so charismatic, so smart, so likable, that he elevates a simple "hosting" job into one that attracts real respect. Jeff Probst is one of those guys that everyone would like to know; he's emminently watchable. We'll be very interested to see what he does on t.v. after "Survivor" finally ends.

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Now for a real flashback. Remember Wendy and Lisa, who were two of Prince's female musicians back in the "Purple Rain" days? Well, it seems that Wendy and Lisa became successful writers of music for film and television over the years since leaving the driver of the "Little Red Corvette", and they won an Emmy last night for composing the theme music for the Showtime show, "Nurse Jackie".

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But fame and success doesn't come without its drawbacks, and evidently without jealously from your former employers. Recently, Prince sent Wendy and Lisa a "cease and desist" letter which demanded that they stop talking about Prince in interviews. Ouch.

Emmy Awards - Part II

8:20 pm - Jon Cryer wins Supporting Actor for a Comedy, beating Neil Patrick Harris. Duh. We knew Harris wouldn't win, he's awful, although the Yahoo Entertainment writer guy said he would win. As for Jon Cryer, we can't comment. We've never watched a single episode of Cryer's show, we'd rather clean-wipe baboon's butts with single-ply toilet paper for a year with no pay. You know, those big, round, fleshy, red baboon butts?

8:30 pm - Justin Timberlake comes out, and we don't know what he said, just the thought of having to watch or listen to him sends us straight to the toilet to throw up. Timberlake's talent potential peaked a few years ago when he squeaked out a high C note in that boy band while performing junior high school cheerleader dance moves. Coincidentally, it was also at that exact moment that he went through puberty.
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(jim parsons)
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8:35 pm - Tina Fey and Timberlake take the stage and thank the audience for their earlier wins as Guest Actors in Comedies. They worship at the feet of SNL producer Lorne Michaels. Wait a minute, Timberlake won an award for acting? for comedy? oh damn, we're back at the toilet... retching.

8:45 pm - Alec Baldwin beats Jim Parsons from "The Big Bang Theory" for Actor in a Comedy, and the genuflecting in front of Lorne Michaels continues. Parsons really should have won. Let's see, out of, what, 5 or 6 categories, the Yahoo Entertainment writer guy hasn't gotten one prediction correct yet. How did he get his job?

9:05 pm - Jeff Probst wins his second Emmy for Best Host for a Reality Show. God, he's sexy. We love him.

Emmy Awards - Part III

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9:12 pm - The Amazing Race wins its sixth (or seventh?) Emmy in a row for Best Reality Show. Really? Is it really the best reality show for all these years? Uh... no. And now you wonder why we make fun of the Emmy Awards and the people who vote for them.

A dance number takes place at some point with dancers from the dance reality shows, and we don't know what time it took place, we were balled up in a corner just wishing it would stop.

9:20 pm - Ken Howard wins the first of what will be many awards for "Grey Gardens" tonight.
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(jeff probst)
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9:30 pm - Some slightly chubby Irish woman in an ill-fitting red dress wins as Director of a mini-series for Little Dorritt, and evidently, the words "bra" and "spanks" are not in this woman's vocabulary.

Reality Round-Up

We're "Survivor" fanatics. Period. Enough said. And this season's edition of the popular reality show does not disappoint. Set in Brazil, the cast is filled with enough misguided egos and malicious backstabbing to keep us tuned in and loving every minute of it. We'd watch the show for the sexy host, Jeff Probst, alone, but luckily the show is entertaining as well.

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Among the cast crazies, first there was Sandy, the happy hillbilly whose Southern accent was so thick that she kept pronouncing "camp" as "caimp", with two to three syllables. We loved Sandy, but she was a little squirrely, and her fellow castaways couldn't wait to get rid of her. She was voted out fairly early.

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Then there's Coach, the ego-maniacal soccer coach who resembles Fabio, complete with the '80's Chippendale's hair-do. The funniest thing about Coach, is that, despite his macho-laden boastings, he really sucks as an athlete. He finishes last or near to last, among the men, in all the athletic challenges. You just know that back at his university they're reconsidering his tenure as coach, and not in a good way.

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Tyson is the Johnny Fairplay wanna-be, but he's not mean enough or emotionally unbalanced enough to hold a candle to the infamous former Survivor backstabbing star. Tyson does like to walk around naked, but as with most people who revel in the nudist lifestyle, he has the kind of body that leaves us begging for him to be clothed.

And poor little cutie, Spencer. Spencer was the 18 year-old, token gay competitor. We had high hopes for Spencer; he was young, athletic and had supposedly watched and studied every single episode of every broadcast of Survivor. Plus he was gay, which is a big advantage in reality shows; gay people by experience have had to learn how to deal with adversity and how to navigate among varying personality types just to survive in real life, so a reality show is usually cake. But somewhere along the way, it was obvious that Spencer hadn't really done his homework. When he became the target for elimination, he seemed to accept his fate, and skulk away like a beaten dog. Somebody needed to remind him, that when targeted for ouster, that is the exact moment at which you turn on every scheming, lying and backstabbing trick you've ever learned to convince everyone else to vote a different way. But Spencer didn't, and he was voted out.

We love Taj, the former pop star as a member of the singing group, SWV. She's wily, smart and a very good player. But just as the Republicans have tagged Michelle Obama, some see Taj as a "sassy Black woman", and her temper might get her into trouble.

We're going to predict right now that the winner will be J.T., the cattle farmer from Alabama. J.T. came across at first as a little dim-witted and maybe not up to the athleticism required to make it in Survivor. But as the early episodes unfolded, it became quickly obvious that not only was J.T. the most gifted athlete on the show, but his intellect and understanding of others was razor-sharp. Unless the others vote him out to get rid of their biggest threat, which often happens, J.T. should easily win this edition of Survivor.