2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics

(lago and his bronze medal shortly before the medal reached an awkward destination)

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The 2010 Winter Olympics are shaping up to be one of the greatest winter games ever for the U.S. As of today, the U.S. is still leading in the total medal count and has a few events left in which we should medal, including hockey, figure skating, ski racing and short track skating. But the games are not without controversy.

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Scotty Lago, the bronze medalist in the men's halfpipe, was asked to leave Vancouver after being photographed at a party in a "menage a trois" with his medal and an unidentified woman. Who knows what strange new worlds that medal explored, but suffice it to say that Lago learned the first lesson of fame, don't do anything in public which could be embarrassing, because it will end up on the internet.

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.(Mancuso, obviously upset after her "make-up" run yesterday)

.Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso, the two most successful skiers on the U.S. women's team, took swipes at each other this week. Vonn has a gold and bronze medal, Mancuso, two silvers, but it's Vonn, featured on a recent Sports Illustrated cover, who is clearly the "golden girl" of these Olympic games. Mancuso told Sports Illustrated this week that the U.S. ski team was being hurt by "a popularity contest." "People are having a hard time reaching their potential because it's such a struggle for attention," Mancuso went on to say. "You come to meetings after races and it's like it's a bad day if Lindsey didn't do well." Meow! It didn't help any when Mancuso was waved off the course yesterday because Vonn had crashed seconds before Mancuso started her run. On Mancuso's make-up run, she performed far worse than in the original run, possibly costing her a medal.

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But the biggest cry-baby of all continues to be the Russian diva, Evgeni Plushenko, who bitterly lost the gold medal to American Evan Lysacek in men's figure skating. Plushenko continues to insist to the press that he really won the event, and insulted Lysacek's performance by saying that it was more like ice dancing than figure skating. Most absurdly, on Plushenko's website, instead of labeling his new medal as silver, he captioned it as a "platinum" medal. We've got an idea, instead of inserting his bronze medal into a woman's mouth, maybe Scotty Lago could shove his medal in a particular Plushenko orifice.

2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics - Days 5, 6, and 7

We haven't been able to get to our computer for a few days, we have a lot to catch up on with The Olympics.
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(evan lysacek)

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One of the best stories we've seen in a long time unfolded on Tuesday night at the Men's Figure Skating Short Program. Evgeni Plushenko, the 2006 Olympic champion and well known egomaniac, bragged that he came out of retirement to try for a second gold medal because "the sport needed him." Plushenko has been well known for many years to be someone who is his own biggest fan, but he took his megalomania to new heights Tuesday night. After the short program, Plushenko was in the lead, but American Evan Lysacek, the current World Champion, finished in second, less than half a point behind. The mind games began immediately. Plushenko told reporters that some skaters were hurting the sport because they weren't using the quad jump, (four spins in the air); Plushenko does a quad, Lysacek does not. Lysacek shot back that he preferred to concentrate on superior spins and smaller jumps. In a backhanded insult to Lysacek, Plushenko went to the press again and said that he was doing those "spins and smaller jumps" when he was a child. Meow! This added a nail-biting drama to the Men's Long program on Thursday night the likes of which we haven't seen since Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding took the ice together in 1994. It's no wonder the Olympics beat American Idol in the ratings this week, marking the first time since 2004 that American Idol didn't win its time slot.
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(evgeni plushenko)
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So it was all on the line on Thursday night. Lysacek skated first in the final group, and despite the fact that we've never been fans of his skating, (way too much insane arm flailing and costume choices which make his Ichobad Crane body look even more Ichobad Cranier), we have to give him credit, he skated a near perfect program. Not pretty, necessarily, but almost perfect. Plushenko went last, and he also skated cleanly. His skating was not nearly as "pretty" or as smooth as Lysacek's, but there was no way to know how the sometimes questionable figure skating judging would rule. In the end, Lysacek won the gold medal by less than a point, sending Plushenko to the press to state that he thought he actually won. Today, Russian Prime Minister Putin even weighed in, saying that Plushenko was robbed. Hey, Russkies, you lost. Get over it!
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American Shani Davis defended his gold medal in the 1,000 Meters Race in Long Track Speed Skating. Davis became the first African American, actually the first Black athlete ever, to win a gold medal at a Winter Olympics when he won the same race in 2006, and after a history of a somewhat controversial training regimen and bickering with his fellow American skaters, it was great to see him win again. American Chad Hedrick took the bronze.
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(shani davis)

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Defending gold medalist in the Men's Snowboard Halfpipe, Shaun White, "The Flying Tomato", (we prefer "Red Zeppelin"), won his second gold in the event, with American Scotty Lago taking the bronze. Scotty Lago made bigger news today, though, when racy photos of him and a woman at a party doing strange things with his bronze medal, surfaced on the internet. Lago had to publicly apologize for the photos, and he's now left the Olympics. We don't know, yet, if he left Vancouver on his own, or if he was asked to leave. Evidently, Lago hasn't learned the Number One Rule of Modern Life in 2010, if you're famous, anything you do in public is going to end up as a photo on the internet. You can count on it.
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(shaun white)
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Another great story had a happy ending this week. Lindsey Vonn, touted as "the greatest skier American has ever produced", but hampered this week with a severe shin bruise, finally skied her first race, the Women's Downhill. Vonn took the gold, and American Julia Mancuso took the silver. Mancuso was the defending gold medalist in the event. Vonn also broke the infamous "Sports Illustrated Curse"; many athletes who are featured on the cover of the quintessential magazine then go on to lose in their big games/events. Vonn was the SI cover girl two weeks ago, immediately afterwhich the news of her injury broke. Uh oh, everyone thought, the SI Curse is taking another victim. But the weather gods are evidently stronger than the SI Curse, and a freak snowstorm forced the race to be delayed by a few days, giving Vonn time to heal her bruise. After winning the Downhill, Vonn crashed out of the Downhill Combined event the next day, but Mancuso took another silver medal in that event, making her the most decorated American Olympic skier ever with three total medals.
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(lindsey vonn)

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Very often, American Olympic gold medal-winning athletes go on to become very rich with a boatload of endorsement deals. Vonn might already be financially well off, we don't know, but we predict with her new found fame, blonde hair and million dollar smile, we're going to soon see her in a few t.v. commercials for McDonalds and Coca-Cola. Let's just hope she doesn't do any of those, "Let's have a great period!" commercials for women. No one wants to see that. Okay?