Emmy Night 2010

Well, the good news is that the Emmy Show itself wasn't bad. Usually major entertainment awards shows suffer from bad writing and drag through long periods of unsufferable boredom, but the 2010 Emmy Awards broadcast was actually written and produced pretty well. It zipped along, and the segments where questions were posed to the nominees on pre-shot videotape, such as "What did your Mother want you to be?" were fresh and witty. The most shocking news is that Jimmy Fallon wasn't a complete bomb. He'll never be really very funny, but luckily, they kept his participation as Host to a bare minimum, so he was able to come across as likable and amusing instead of obnoxious.
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(host jimmy fallon in the opening
musical number with the "glee" kids).
Better news is that some people who actually deserved their awards won them. How's that for fresh and different? But, of course, there were some real head scratchers, too.
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(jane lynch wins for "glee")

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(jim parsons accepts his emmy
from a very excited eva longoria)
In the category of "People Who Really Deserved Their Wins" were Jane Lynch for "Glee" and Jim Parsons for "The Big Bang Theory". Lynch is a superbly talented comedic actor, and we knew from the very first episode of "Glee" that she would win an Emmy for the role of Sue Sylvester. We were right. And Jim Parsons won, finally! Parsons is one of the funniest guys on t.v. in his role as the geek of all time, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. But he failed to win in the past because he suffered from one of the silliest things that drives these type of awards; voters tend to shy away from voting for shows that aren't "water cooler" shows, those shows that everyone is talking about. And while "The Big Bang Theory" is incredibly funny, it's not a show that is on everyone's radar, so voters think it must not be good. Emmy voters are just like any other large populace mass, they vote how they're told to vote by big advertising, big marketing and hype.
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.The big shocker in the comedy category was Edie Falco winning for Lead Comedy Actress for "Nurse Jackie" over Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. What? Falco is not even a comedic actress, and she said as much, herself, when she accepted her trophy on stage, saying, "I'm not really funny". Truer words were never spoken, Edie. But Falco still rides "The Sopranos" wave of Emmy popularity. Note to Edie: When wearing a sleeveless dress, don't hold up an arm and flap it wildly in the air on national television. You've got some work to do before your arms resemble Michelle Obama's.
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(edie falco takes another emmy)

.But maybe the biggest shock of the night was "The Tony Awards" winning for Variety or Comedy Show Writing. Now get this: the writing for The Tony Awards" beat the writing for both Bill Maher and Wanda Sykes' stand-up comedy specials, "But I'm Not Wrong" and "I'm a Be Me", respectively. Are you kidding? The writing for the Bill Maher and Wanda Sykes shows was so funny that even after several viewings, those shows still make us double over in laughter. Where was the great writing for "The Tony Awards", the dumb jokes the hosts tell before they hand out a trophy? Somebody on The Tony Show production staff gave a lot of blowjobs in the bathroom to get that Emmy.
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Also in the "deserved" category was "The Daily Show"'s win over "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" for Best Variety, Music or Comedy Series. Okay, okay, we know that "The Daily Show" wins this Emmy every year, (it's won eight years in a row), and that everyone was anticipating a bitter, train-wreck of an acceptance speech from Conan, (especially us), but come on, "TDS" really is superb t.v., every single night. And come on, you didn't really think Conan's show was funny, did you? Conan's "Tonight Show" was uneven at best, and sometimes, even downright awful. But never fear, after that embarrassing, ego-driven acceptance speech by the "TDS" writer in which he more or less bragged that the show deserved its award, Jon Stewart's show might have just given away the Emmy for next year.
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("the daily show" writer who redefined the word "dick")
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."Mad Men" won its third Emmy in a row for Best Dramatic Series, and hype won over real quality again. We like "Mad Men", sometimes, but we dare you to watch the show and actually be able to stay interested for long periods of time. Meanwhile, two of the most original, riveting shows to come along in decades, "Dexter" and "Breaking Bad" continue to lose in this category. We're not fans of "Lost", so we're not going to join that crazy, fan-driven chorus of "Lost Wuz Robbed" drivel that you're going to read on every blog in the country for the next two days. Give it up, Lost'ers, "Lost"'s writing seemed at times as if a roomful of monkeys were plopped down in front of computers to come up with the storylines for the show, and then it was left to the show's producers and actors to pretend that the show made any sense at all.
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In the "Best Comedy Series", it all came down to "Modern Family" vs. "Glee", and "MF" took it. This was a toss-up; both shows are fresh, funny, well-acted, well-produced, and who knows why "MF" finally won. If we were voting, we would have given it to "MF" as well, simply because its writing was better. We love "Glee" as much as anyone, but sometimes it felt as if the "Glee" writers were making it up as they went along; the writing was uneven at best.
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(jesse tyler ferguson, george clooney and eric stonestreet in a video bit during the show).

.Another well-deserved win was Eric Stonestreet's for "Modern Family". Simply put, this guy is motherf**kng funny! The whole show, "Modern Family", is entertaining, but let's face it, most of the time you watch it, you're just waiting for more scenes with Eric Stonestreet. Well deserved, Mr. Stonestreet, well deserved.
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We thought Connie Britton should have won for "Friday Night Lights", but bigger star Kyra Sedgwick took it for "The Closer". Whatever. Seven-time Emmy winner, "The Amazing Race", finally lost the Best Reality Show award, to "Top Chef". "TAR" had won every Emmy Award given in that category since it began in 2003.
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Two of the most satisfying moments of the night came when the camera showed the sullen, glowering faces of Neil Patrick Harris and Hugh Laurie when names other than theirs were called out for the golden trophies. Okay, we're evil, but let's get real, these two get a lot of hype in the press for their talents which is probably not, well... deserved. Less is more, Hugh Laurie, less is more. But the most awkward moment of the night came when Julia Ormand took the stage to accept her trophy for "Temple Grandin", and attempted the "I'm Going to Name the Other Four Women Who Were Nominated in my Category" schtick to show "how honored she was to be in their company", only Julia screwed it up. She got through the first three names, but when she got to Catherine O'Hara, she said, "Catherine O... Catherine O... oh, what's her name? Catherine O... oh well, I'm honored... (blah, blah, blah)." Ouch.
.For once, the show got the "In Memoriam" section right. Jewel sang a soaring, heartbreaking original song about a friend who had died from cancer, while the video montage of actors who died in the past year were given more than the traditionally-given split second of air time. Wow. It was almost like the television academy actually cared about those legendary actors who had passed.
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.(al pacino)

.The biggest winners of the night were "Glee", "Modern Family" and the HBO movie, "Temple Grandin". The biggest loser of the night was Al Pacino's long, unending acceptance speech. Pacino won for playing Dr. Jack Kevorkian, who famously pulled the plug on terminally ill patients, but yet Pacino was allowed to ramble on on life support for what seemed like hours. Ironic, huh?
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(the real temple grandin

in the red bolo tie)

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Our favorite moment of the night was when the real Temple Grandin stole the show every chance she got. Give this woman her own show, she's even a bigger ham than Hugh Laurie!

Two Scoops of Nothing

Today it's all about the Emmy Awards. If your life is so empty that you actually get excited about moderately talented actors and badly written t.v. shows showering themselves with trophies of narcissism, that is. And all the entertainment writers are excitedly flogging their privates with the question of "What will Conan O'Brien do if he wins?". Oh god, what might he do? Continue to embarrass himself like a spoiled child on national television by taking barely disguised potshots at all those who have wronged him? Good god. Last night we watched "Hard Candy", a disturbing movie about the horrific lengths an unbalanced teen, (Ellen Page), went to to wreak revenge on her persecutor, (Patrick Wilson). It was a very scary movie, and we couldn't help think about how Conan O'Brien should have played the part of the teen girl; his simmering rage lurking just behind the spectre of his tightly pursed lips is scarier than Ellen Page holding a knife to Patrick Wilson's balls ever thought about being..And then we thought about the Emmy show itself. Someone actually hired Jimmy Fallon to host? Really? What about Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan? Can you imagine how much funnier the show would have been with the two "30 Rock" stars hosting? But you have to remember that awards show producers are specifically looking for someone who is "safe", and who can bridge the gap between the young and old generation, and in that regard, Jimmy Fallon is perfect. He's not funny or dangerous enough to potentially offend anyone over 50, but being under 40, himself, gives the show a younger skewering. Jimmy Fallon is like vanilla ice cream; boring as hell, but at least it's ice cream.
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And then, of course, with all the talk of Conan O'Brien comes inevitably the discussion and comments on thousands of blogs across the country as to "who is funnier: Conan or Jay?". Let's get real, are either one of them actually that funny? And that question led us to our next thought: just like Jimmy Fallon can be compared to vanilla ice cream, all of the current late night t.v. talk show hosts are like some sort of ice cream.

After all the dust of the late night wars has settled, David Letterman is, after all these years, still the funniest and most satisfying late night t.v. talk show host. Yes, at times, he's obnoxious, some of his comedic bits are stale, (The Top Ten), but pound for pound, you're more likely to get more real laughs and enjoy fresher, wittier writing on his show than any other late night offering. Letterman is like Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream; his ingredients are familiar, which gives him "comfort food" status, but he's still capable of coming up with new, original and unexpected flavors which always delight.

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Jay Leno is like Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream. He's the most expensive, he's the premium brand with the reputation of offering the richest flavor; "The Tonight Show" is still the "gold standard" for late night t.v. talk shows. But like Haagen-Dazs, Leno is sometimes bland and unoriginal. Yes, Haagen-Dazs makes good chocolate ice cream, but at the end of the day, it's just choclate ice cream. Where are the crumbled cookies, the bits of pretzels, the chocolate chips? Leno is at times lazy, just coasting on the historical reputation and built-in ratings of "The Tonight Show", cranking out his factory-made comedy like Haagen-Dazs cranks out its ice cream, on an assembly line.


And now for something completely different. Jimmy Kimmel is so original, that he's not like ice cream at all. Kimmel is more like gelato, something that's almost ice cream, but not quite. Jimmy Kimmel is sarcastic and ironic, and almost seems as if he's giving the finger to late night t.v., while at the same time managing to create hilariously funny comedy within the boundaries of a conventional late night formula. Kimmel turns the very idea of what late night talk can be on its head much like gelato invented the idea of eating ice cream without having to eat actual ice cream. Kimmel's wry cynical comedy is not everyone's taste, but like gelato, if one can't get the best tasting ice cream, then gelato is a very satisfying second choice.


Not being able to find a good ice cream brings us to Craig Ferguson. Oh, lord, where do we begin? It's hard for us to fairly judge Craig Ferguson, we've never been able to get past his opening monologue. Ferguson practically invented the terms, "mugging for the camera", "hamming it up", "self-indulgent comedy". We often joke about how we wonder how Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Fallon got their own t.v. shows, but in Craig Ferguson's case, we're not joking. How did this guy get his own t.v. show? Let's put it this way, Craig Ferguson is so painfully unfunny, he's not like any kind of ice cream, or even gelato, he's like yogurt. Yogurt is that treat you'd only buy if the grocery store shelves were completely empty of ice cream, and you were absolutely desperate for some sort of dairy treat. And then after eating the yogurt, you'd still have a craving for ice cream, just like watching Craig Ferguson makes one hungry for anything other than his show.

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Jimmy Fallon is not particularly funny, but he's not obnoxious or controversial, either. He's safe, middle of the road, he's like your local, small-town brand ice cream that's not popular enough or tasty enough to make it on the national market, but tastes good enough to satisfy some. He'll never be able to compete with the bigger brands, and just like his local brand of ice cream gets pushed to the back of the shelves by Ben and Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs, as other funnier performers continue to emerge, Jimmy Fallon will just keep getting pushed back later and later at night on the t.v. schedule. Finally, he'll be on so late at night that the only people who will watch him are those people who wake up in the middle of the night with an ice cream craving and will put anything in their mouths to satisfy that craving..
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And finally, we arrive at the Irish red headed wonder, Conan O'Brien. O'Brien took a once promising career as a writer and somewhat adequate performer, and in the last year let his ego and spoiled personality almost completely run it off the rails. O'Brien is like a dropped ice cream cone who someone dropped on the sidewalk and then walked away from, letting it melt and stankify in the hot day's sun. O'Brien was once that brash young writer who made a name for himself writing for "Saturday Night Live", (1987-91), and "The Simpson's". And then, in 1993, he started appearing on his own t.v. show, and at first, he was fresh and amusing, much like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. But as time went on, his comedy grated on the nerves, trying a little bit too hard to be "wacky" and irreverent. And he never did learn how to interview a guest; he was that obnoxious friend who constantly interrupts your stories by finding a way to make your story about him. And then came the disaster of his "Tonight Show" gig, where instead of realizing that maybe his talent was, in the end, pretty limited, he took his firing like a petulant child who has his ice cream cone taken away, passive-aggressively lashing out at everyone who ever offended him. And finally, his talent as a comedian became like that ice cream cone who the frustrated mother finally just lets drop on the ground as she pulls her screaming brat down the sidewalk. And much like Conan's comedic abilities, that ice cream cone melted away on the hot, putrid sidewalk, turning a once delicious treat into something that eventually needed to be cleaned up and swept away.
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But are we hoping that Conan wins an Emmy tonight? Hell, yes. Because just like the rest of America who secretly enjoys train-wreck television, we can't wait to see how far he'll go to continue to embarrass himself.

Friday Morning Hangover Part III

And a final take on the Week that Was: Jan. 17-23...

Conan O'Brien, completely devoid of any sense of grace, continued this week to shamelessly ratchet up the complaints, the sniping at Jay Leno and NBC, and the overblown comedic attempts at petulant revenge against all those who wronged him. Good god, grow up, Conan! We said it before, but it definitely bears repeating. If you were as really funny, Conan, or even moderately talented in some way, people would watch your show, your ratings would be high, and your job would not be in jeoardy. It's as simple as that. Period. But you're not funny, not a lot of people want to watch you, and therefore, your ass got canned. But whatever happens, for god's sakes, please stop whining, Conan. You're like the pimply-faced, prom queen reject who sits by her phone and wonders why the senior boy who fingered her last week never calls, and just like how someone has to finally say to her, "Conan, we're just not that into you!"

The Most Important Story in the World

The most important story in the world! No, we're not talking about the earthquake in Haiti, or the Massachusetts senate seat possibly going Republican or even Pres. Obama's threat to tax the big banks, no we're talking about the Jay Leno-Conan O'Brien dust-up.

First, we think our celebrity-obsessed society is spending way too much time on this topic, but since we're here, let's face facts. We're all adults here, right? The reason why Conan O'Brien is about to lose his show is for one reason: he's not funny. Period.

If Conan O'Brien was funny, t.v. viewers would watch his show, he would garner big ratings, and his job would be secure. It's not rocket science, people, it's the t.v. business.

Conan's comedic style was always a little "off", not quite what we would describe as funny, and his interviewing skills are abysmal. In fact, watching O'Brien spend time with a guest is down-right squirm-inducing. He can't stop performing long enough to let the guest have a moment of his own; he keeps interrupting the guest's story to attempt one awkwardly unfunny stab at humor after another. We knew when Conan took over "The Tonight Show" it wouldn't last, and we were right, but even we were shocked that his reign collapsed after only seven months. Now if NBC would only finish the job of ridding their roster of miserably untalented comedic performers they'd give the axe to Jimmy Fallon and the truly awful "Saturday Night Live". God, we could only hope.

Emmy Awards - Part V

9:55 pm - Our faith in these idiotic awards is starting to be renewed as the writers from "The Daily Show" win over that truly awful "Conan O'Brien" disaster that comes on late at night. Although, we have to admit, in the traditional comedic bits which introduce the long lists of nominated writers, Conan's was the funniest. His bit showed an anonymous person going through a Facebook list of "Friend Requests", (his writers), and the person Ignored each one, and then the camera panned back and the person ignoring the list of writers as "friends" was Conan himself. Then Conan turned and smiled at the camera.

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(ricky gervais at last year's emmy awards)

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10:00 pm - Jimmy Fallon is introduced as an Emmy Winner, (really? for what, best impersonation of a comedian?), and he makes his way through an unbelievably bad comedy sketch. The camera keeps cutting to people in the audience laughing until the camera accidentally catches a horrified Kevin Kline with a look on his face that undeniably reads: "What the f**k is Fallon doing?". We couldn't agree more, Kevin.

10:02 pm - They give an award for Original Music and Lyrics, (is this the equivalent of the Oscar's Best Song?), and two of the nominated songs feature Justin Timberlake in various performances. WTF? Is this some sort of horrific Rip Van Winkle nightmare in which we went to bed knowing that Timberlake was, at best, a second rate singer and definitely a third rate actor, but then we woke up and suddenly the entire entertainment world has decided he's the most exciting talent since Meryl Streep? We're nauseous at the thought of it, but it seems to be true.

10:05 pm - Ricky Gervais does a very funny bit. Thank god, we were just about to change the channel. And "The Daily Show" wins for Variety Show. Deserved.

The Stink of Failure

At East Village Afternoon, we love our winners and we really love our losers. So join us tonight when we blog live about one of the biggest losers in the entertainment business, Jimmy Fallon, during the debut of his NBC late night talk show.

We always wondered who Conan O'Brien blew in the bathroom to get the gig 16 years ago. O'Brien was never really funny and never, in 16 years, learned how to interview someone; he was too busy trying to make every moment about himself. He finally grew an audience by "default", because there was nothing else on t.v. during his time slot for anyone to watch.

But Jimmy Fallon? Come on. Fallon makes O'Brien look like a comedy genius. Fallon was horrifically bad on Saturday Night Live, all of his movies have bombed, and it won't be going out on a limb to say his new late night gig won't last long. The biggest indicator of his looming failure are the interviews his producers and writers have been giving in the past few days in which they practically admit that they're not sure what they're going to do on the show. A comic without a comedic point of view? Oh yeah, that's the way to comedy gold.