Douche of the Day

Today's Douche of the Day is Rep. Rob Woodall, (R-Ga), who recently tried to explain to senior citizens at a town hall meeting in Dacula, Georgia why he wanted to take away their Medicare.

One woman asked what she would do without Medicare since the company she retired from provided no retirement pension. Woodall chided her by saying, "Hear yourself, ma'am. Hear yourself. You want the government to take care of you, because your employer decided not to take care of you. My question is, 'When do I decide I'm going to take care of me?'"

Another woman tried to explain to Woodall that the Republican plan to provide vouchers to pay for health insurance wouldn't cover her health insurance in the same way that Medicare does. At that point, Woodall hinted that if she and others want "socialized medicine" that they are free to move to Canada or some other country with socialized medicine. Wow.

What's even more sad than Woodall's comments are the senior citizens in the room who stood up and applauded Woodall's comments, apparently agreeing with Woodall's self-righteous need to condemn those who desperately depend on Medicare. Oh my, Jesus would be so proud.

Remember that while Woodall and his fellow Republicans are decrying those who won't "take responsibility for themselves", they are all making salaries over $100,000 per year paid for by us, the taxpayers. They also receive their health benefits and a life-long pension paid for by, yes, you guessed it, us, the taxpayers. Oh, and don't forget that they also regularly vote themselves pay raises and increases to their pensions. To say that their actions smack of hypocrisy is a gigantic understatement; in fact, we need to invent a new word for something bigger than normal hypocrisy. We need a word to describe huge, gigantic hypocrisy committed by people who have absolutely no shame, much less a sense of morals or ethics.

In 2006, some retired members of Congress received annual pensions of over $60,000, while the average pension for retired Congress persons was $35,000. Those sums don't sound like a lot, but when you add in their Social Security payments of another $20,000 to $30,000 per year, some retired Congress persons are hauling in anywhere from $90,000 to $50,000 per year, all on the taxpayer dime. How many retired people do you know in your community who would kill to receive an annual paycheck of $90,000, or even $50,000? Most seniors receive less than $20,000 per year in Social Security payments, and are currently being asked to contribute more and more for their Medicare coverage.

And while Woodall clearly earns our Douche of the Day honor today, his spokeswoman, Jennifer Drogus, is also deserving of an honor for her comments. When contacted by The Huffington Post for her comments regarding the town hall meeting, Drogus said, "We consider overall the town hall pretty good stuff. Folks who were misinformed and guided by the scare politics of the left hopefully left better informed." A statement that stupid is not enough to win full Douche of the Day honors, but for her cruel stupidity, Miss Drogus is clearly deserving of being named a "Douche-ette of the Day". It's not as great as winning "Douche of the Day" honors, but it's a close second.

And so to all you folks in Georgia who have voted for Woodall, especially you retirees, and who are even, inexplicably, considering voting for him again, all we can say is you'll get everything you deserve, and not in a good way. Unfortunately, the rest of us have to pay for your stupidity as well. So if not for yourselves, at least for the rest of us, please get your heads out of your asses.

Douche of the Day

Most of our Douche of the Day honorees have to really earn it, meaning they have to have a long, ongoing relationship with the denial of truth and/or reason. And then sometimes, you can be a gigantic Douche just for uttering one, completely stupid statement.

Today's Douche of the Day is Republican Senator, Orrin Hatch, for something he said today to Norah O'Donnell on MSNBC. After a report was issued today which said that in 2009, over 52% of the American public paid no taxes, O'Donnell asked Hatch for his reponse, and instead of admitting that our tax system is broken and desperately needs reform, Hatch did what most non-brain-functioning Republicans do, he just repeated the party's talking points. Yes, he went there; Hatch said, "Norah, we don't have a tax problem, we have a spending problem." Holy shit. Really, Orrin?

Hatch is a gigantic ass who's long been hopelessly out of touch with the real world, but you'd think that even a pathetic dinosaur like Hatch would realize that after Americans hear the same talking points over and over and over again, especially the Republican ones, they pretty quickly figure out that those talking points have no credibility or basis in reality. Most people figured out weeks ago that yes, indeed, we do have a tax problem, as well as a spending problem.

So for being so dumb as to think that anyone out there believes a tired, already worn-out talking point like, "We don't have a tax problem, we have a spending problem," you Orrin Hatch are today's "Douche of the Day".

Not Even Douche-Worthy

We considered in the past few days making Donald Trump one of the recipients of our "Douche of the Day" honors, but we just can't do it. Usually our "Douche of the Day" recipients are people who take themselves seriously, but yet their thinking is so screwed up or just so unbelievably stupid that we have to call them out. But come on, we can't take Trump or anything he says seriously, he's just a clown.

Lately, of course, he's been all over the news for threatening to run for President, even though he won't, and he cranked up the charge, once again, that Pres. Obama had never shown his birth certificate, even though he has. Well, today, as we're writing this, Pres. Obama has just released his "long form" birth certificate to the press, which is technically the same document that we've seen for years, and Donald Trump is speaking to reporters in New Hampshire, stating that "he's honored that he got Pres. Obama to finally release his birth certificate." Jesus!

This guy Trump is not a Douche of the Day, he's not stupid, what he really is is the reincarnation of P.T. Barnum. He's a born showman, a born entertainer, and right now, he's putting on the greatest show on earth.

Douche of the Day

Today's "Douche of the Day" honors go to U.S. Congressman Paul Ryan from Wisconsin. Wisconsin, you know, that state where the Republicans think their firemen, policeman and elementary school teachers are ruining their state's economy?

Ryan is the poster boy for the current Republican push for "cutting spending" and balancing the budget. The Republicans ran on that message last fall, and with the help of the crazy Tea Baggers, they won bigtime, taking control of the U.S. House. And for awhile, their message of "America can't spend more than it takes in", played well. And that particular message is true. No doubt about it.

But here's where the Repubs went wrong. And yes, you can count on it, the Republicans always end up over-reaching and screwing up their evil plans. The Repubs failed to take into account that most Americans are much smarter than what they give them credit for. And when the Repubs pushed and pushed and pushed to cut Medicare and Social Security and workers' benefits, not to mention Planned Parenthood, NPR and the EPA, sooner or later the American people were bound to wake up, which they did, and start to question why if they had to lose so many benefits, were the big oil companies, big business, Wall Street and big pharma not also being asked to give a little. Soon the word on the street spread like wildfire that General Electric and Exxon paid no taxes last year. No taxes while making record profits. So most people quickly started realizing that it's not a "spending problem" American has, so much as it's a "revenue problem", as in, some rich people, and some big corporations, are not paying their fair share of taxes. And now it's out in the open, and everyone realizes that the revenue problem, in the form of an antiquated tax code, is the real villain.

But there was Paul Ryan on the Fox Sunday Morning Show with Chris Wallace still trying to trot out that now tired, and now completely exposed as a completely shallow, message of "American has a spending problem". Wow. Ryan, let us explain this to you. Nobody's buying it. Everybody realizes now that unless you ask the big corporations to pay their fair share of taxes, America will never again have a balanced budget, and no amount of cutting of NPR and Planned Parenthood will do the trick. And when you keep smiling at the camera with the goofy, "children of the corn" smile and repeating that same cynical Republican message, you're just starting to look more and more like what you are, a douchebag.

Douche of the Day

We had two leading contenders for today's biggest Douche of the Day, and when we couldn't decide who should take the title, we just said, "F**k it," and decided to award two crowns.
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The obvious choice for Douchebag of the Day is Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker, who is using his state's budget crunch as an excuse to wipe out the unions for state employees. There are a lot of sides to this argument, and we're not saying that some of the employee pension plans aren't a little bloated and unrealistic, but let's face it, we all know what this fight is really about. Republicans favor big business, and big business would love nothing more than to completely eliminate unions, which means they would then be free to pay less in benefits and pay to their workers, thus increasing their own personal profits. Wait a minute, isn't Greed one of the seven deadly sins?
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The most schocking statistic to come out of this fight in the Badger State is the report which said that two-thirds of Wisconsin's corporations pay no taxes. Let that fact sink in for awhile before you start to think the state workers are the villains in this showdown. But when Scott Walker and his fellow Republicans talk about "tough choices" and "sacrifices" which have to be made to balance the state budget, why is it that corporations and the rich aren't invited into that sacrificial pit; why are the only Christians in the lions' den the poor, the needy, and middle class workers? For this incredibly cynical and mean-spirited philosophy, Gov. Walker is easily our biggest Douche of the Day.
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But wait, a close second to the hapless Governor is MSNBC (alleged) journalist, Alex Witt. Miss Witt, whose Farrah Fawcett-y hair gets bigger by the day, threatening to soon expand beyond the boundaries of a normal-sized t.v. screen, also earns a Douche of the Day recognition. This morning, Miss Witt interviewed a school teacher who is protesting at the Wisconsin state capitol, and three times the large-coiffed Witt asked her when she was going to return to school to "teach the children". Wow. Oh yes, Witt, for insinuating that a teacher, who barely makes enough money to live above the poverty line, is shirking her work duties, while you're too lazy to focus on the real evil-doers in this story, earns you a well-deserved Douche of the Day award. Someone should ask Alex Witt when she's going to do her job, which would involve putting down the hairspray, leaving the comfortable, well-compensated confines of the t.v. studio, and knocking on a few doors of the corporations who aren't paying state taxes. Then maybe, Miss Witt, you could rightfully be called a real journalist, but until then, you're just one, big, dumb, big-haired douchebag.

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Douche of the Day

There is hypocrisy, and then there is the incredible, jaw-dropping hypocrisy of Dr. Andy Harris. Harris is a newly elected Republican Congressman from Maryland who made an unbelievable ass of himself today.

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Harris campaigned heavily on the promise to repeal "ObamaCare", you know, government-funded healthcare, but today, when told at an orientation for new House members that he'd have to wait for one month before his government-funded health care would begin, Harris stood and demanded to know why he had to wait for so long for his health coverage. He asked "why it took so long," and asked "what he would do without 28 days of health care?" Wow. Wait, let us say that again: Wow.

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Andy Harris, you are a douchebag. Actually, we've had douchebags before on East Village Afternoon, but for demanding government-funded health care for yourself when you don't think anyone else deserves the same, even though millions of Americans are desperate to have it, you are The King of All Douchebags. Way to go, Maryland, when you voted for this colossal idiot, you got just what you deserved.

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We have one request of Andy Harris, and others like him. First, do your homework. The fact that a physician didn't understand how the health care system works is shocking, and probably foretells how much else he doesn't know. But more importantly, people like Harris should put their money where their mouths are. If you hate government-funded health care so much, Rep. Harris, then you should promise not to take it. Give up your Congressional health care, which we, the taxpayers, pay for. There is no rule or law which says that you have to accept government-funded health care, but if you do accept it, and then go forward in your promise to help repeal "ObamaCare", then you have lost absolutely all credibility as a Congressman. God, what a douche!

Douche of the Day

For the past few days, all the focus of the new Republican villainy has centered around John Boehner, Sarah Palin, Mitch McConnell and others. But these people are easy to understand; their anger and vindictiveness is easy to spot and therefore easy to counteract. The Republicans you really have to fear are the seemingly "nice" Republicans, like Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty.
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Pawlenty was on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" this morning, and make no mistake about it, the guy has his eyes on a bigger prize, namely the U.S. Presidency. And is typical with all of Pawlenty's public appearances, he hits all the right Republican talking points, all related in smooth, polished tones with a smug, self-satisfied half-smile on his face. God, what a scary motherfucker!
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Here's why you have to fear people like Tim Pawlenty. As we said, with people like McConnell and Boehner, we get them. They are barely able to disguise their disdain and hatred for anyone unlike them, whether it's the poor, progressive thinkers or Mexicans. But politicians like Tim Pawlenty will pretend to your face that they're a different kind of Republican; they're "compassionate". Remember when Bush coined the term "compassionate conservative"? But don't fall for it, Pawlenty is just as driven by a warped view of society as John Boehner on his worst day. Pawlenty's talking points always include "making tough choices" and "bringing down the cost of health care". Right. But here's where you really have to pay attention to Pawlenty. When pressed on specifics about "tough choices", do you notice that, to him, the things that always "have to be on the table" are cuts in medicare, social security and health care? In other words, the poor, the sick and the elderly. Why don't the "touch choices" ever include cuts in defense, Big Business or the wealthiest Americans? Why, in Tim Pawlently's world, do the least among us always have to bear the burden of the "tough choices", and never those that could actually better shoulder that burden? And when discussing the cost of health care, it's easy to say that costs should lower, but why won't Tim Pawlenty ever say that the only way to really lower health care costs is to confront the medical community and tell doctors that they have to stop charging $200 for a 15 minute visit, which translates to $800 per hour. $800 per hour. Wow. Think about that. But if you think Tim Pawlenty is ever going to make that "really touch choice" and stand up to the medical community, you can forget it, it's much easier to punish all those greedy retirees for daring to expect a few hundred dollars a month in fixed incomes.
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Yes, Tim Pawlenty is a colossal douche, and even slightly more qualified to be a national leader than Sarah Palin. But don't worry, he's not going anyway; luckily for us, he has all the charisma of a wet dish rag and none of the real gifts of personality that are required to win national office. Yes, we know, Tim Pawlenty, calling you out as a fraud is a "tough choice", but it's one we're ready to make.

Douche of the Day

Just a couple of days ago, we wrote that Ryan Seacrest might be a douche in some sort of emotional distress, turns out, he's just a douche.
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The whole world was alerted to what a hero Seacrest was when he talked American Idol contestant and front-runner, Crystal Bowersox, into staying on the show when she was considering leaving. Great for Seacrest, right? Could it be that he spends a second or two of his day actually thinking about someone other than himself? Could be. But oh wait, there's more.
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What we weren't told, until the press found out later, was that Seacrest leaked the story to the press himself. Bowersox was not happy, as indicated by her text to fellow contestant Katelynn Epperly, "I'm fine . . . betrayed by Seacrest!", which Epperly then related to a Des Moines radio station.

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(crystal bowersox)

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Seacrest, Seacrest, Seacrest, oh girl, the lesson we hope you learn from this incident is that any good deed you might have accidentally stumbled upon doing is seriously undermined when you can't wait to crow to the world about what a great guy you are for doing it. And for this, you are definitely our Douche of the Day.

Douche of the Day

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Last night when staunch pro-lifer Rep. Bart Stupak, (Dem-Mich.), took the House floor, just before the vote was taken on the health care bill, to explain why he was voting for the bill, someone on the House floor shouted out, "Baby killer!"

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(texas douchbag rep. randy neugebauer)

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Rep. Randy Neugebauer of Lubbock, (Rep.-Tx), a Southern Baptist, came forward today and admitted he had shouted the remark, and apologized to his colleagues and to Stupak. Look at this guy, why is it that everyone in the brain trust that is the right wing fringe of the Republican party looks like pedophiles?

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It was also revealed that before the vote was taken, that some Republican members of Congress waved flags and posted signs in their office windows encouraging the nutjob protesters outside, yes, the same protesters that called Rep. Clyburn a nigger and Rep. Frank a faggot. Now, that's class. What is this, the U.S. Congress or a junior high school pep rally for homecoming queen?

Douche of the Day

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There are two things you can count on with Republicans:
1. Irony and hypocrisy are completely lost on them, and...
2. The level to which they're so out of touch with modern American life in 2010 that they eventually, always say something incredibly stupid.

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As recently as Sunday, we reported that Sen. Lindsey Graham, Republican from South Carolina, stated on a Sunday morning talk show that Americans were "tired of this crap", referring to the Democrats' push for health care reform.

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Well, now, less than two days later, Graham said this in a radio interview, "Nancy Pelosi, I think, has got them all liquored up on sake and you know, they're making a suicide run here." Sake, of course, is a Japanese beer and with the term "suicide run", Graham was referring to the fact that Japanese airplanes purposely crashed into American battleships during World War II in an effort to destroy them.

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Japanese-American Representative Mike Honda, Democrat of California, who spent part of his childhood interned due to his Japanese origin, asked Graham to "show respect for our fellow Americans." "I am disheartened that Senator Graham chose to use racially tinged rhetoric to express his opposition to health care reform," said Honda.
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Graham replied that he was making a broader point -- that he believed there was already too much government involvement in health care. "My comments really reflect the fanaticism of the Democratic leadership. And I don't know whether (it was) sake or moonshine, but no sober person would do this," he said. "What I would ask the congressman to do is stop this process (so that) all Americans, Japanese-Americans included, do not need to lose their choice in health care," Graham told Fox News.

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The explanation did not assuage Honda, who hit back that health care reform would in fact open up choices for Americans by "putting the health care industry in its place." "For the senator to add 'moonshiners' to an already unsavory sake and suicide statement does a disservice to the underlying issue," Honda said. "I question who has, in fact -- to use the senator's words -- lost their political mind."

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You have to love the Republicans, we keep making the claim that they're really not very bright, sometimes even stupid, and then they keep opening their mouths and proving it.