Naked Owens vs. Naked Ochocinco: Now That's a Super Bowl!

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Remember football player Chad Ochocinco from "Dancing With The Stars"? Here he is in a new ad for PETA. Wow, if only he'd looked this good on the Dancing show, we might have actually picked up the phone and voted for him.
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But as good as Ochocinco looks naked, we're still not sure he looks as hot as fellow football player Terrell Owens did when he posed last year to promote his VH-1 reality show.

At Least He Tried

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And speaking of fashion disasters, here is Cincinnati Bengals star, Chad Ochocinco, at a recent Hollywood event with his "Dancing of the Stars" dance partner, Cheryl Burke.
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Hey, first we have to give the guy credit for trying. The pink vest, pants and tie with the white shirt is a great look. And despite the cliche, it does take a confident man to pull off a pink ensemble. So, Chad, you get an "A+" for effort.
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But there are some problems, the hot pink belt is overkill, the wrist watch is too big, and the shoes are so completely wrong. Ever heard of white bucs, Chad? But those mistakes pale in comparison with... well, if you've read East Village Afternoon before, you know what we're about to say. The offense for which Chad, or any other man, deserves to serve some time in fashion prison is the fact that his pants are too long! What is it with so many Hollywood stars and professional athletes? They're multi-millionaires, they can afford any outfit, and some of them, like Chad, even have the balls to push the boundaries of men's fashion. But then they go and ruin it all by looking like some 12 year-old boy whose Mommy just allowed him wear "big boy" clothes for the first time. Come on, guys, men's pants should stop at the top of the shoe, not bunched up around the ankles in several folds of loose material. The folds break the line of Chad's well-toned body and offend the eye. So Chad, keep doing what you're doing, buy some risky outfits, you can pull it off, but next time, when the pants don't fit, trust us, you can afford a few extra dollars to pay a tailor to hem those pants.