Saturday Sports

We've said many times before, it's the "story" that makes sports so exciting. Watching a perfect throw, or perfect tennis stroke, or perfect run is awe-inspiring, no doubt, but what elevates sports to levels of drama worthy of winning an Oscar is the "human story" behind the athletic endeavor. And one of those great stories is unfolding this weekend at the U.S. Open Golf Championship.

Northern Irishman Rory McIlroy held a huge lead this past April at the Master's Golf Championship, but shockingly, he imploded on the last nine holes, and ended up in 15th place. His meltdown was so incredible, it was actually hard to watch. But he held his head up high, he didn't complain or whine, and now, just a few weeks later, he is dominating the second of the four major golf tournaments of the year. With only one day left in the tournament, McIlroy is at 14-under, with his closest competitor at 6-under. He's also just set the all-time record for three rounds with a score of 199. Everyone is rooting for McIlroy to win his first major, but what adds tension to the story is the fear in everyone's minds that he might experience another Masters-like meltdown on the final day, and once again, blow his chances for a win. Let's hope not. McIlroy is also electrifying the golf world because he's proving that there is, indeed, life after Tiger.

Wimbledon starts on Monday, but before we preview this year's championship, we want to first take a moment to recognize a bit of history. 2011 is the 50th anniversary of the first Wimbledon win for one of the game's greatest players, Billie Jean King. The 17 year-old King, who then went by her maiden name, Billie Jean Moffitt, won the Women's Doubles Championship in 1961 with partner Karen Susman. King would go on to win her first singles championship at Wimbledon in 1966.



Now for the present Wimbledon. It's rare to have more than one, or maybe two, men who have a real chance to win at Wimbledon, and this year we have four. Federer, Nadal, Djokovic and Murray all have a real chance to take the trophy, which makes this one of the most anticipated Wimbledon's in a long time. There's always a chance that someone else could slip in and play the role of "spoiler", but the way that the top four men are playing right now, that looks doubtful. Sadly, for America, we still don't have anyone on the men's side who has a real chance to make the finals; Roddick, Isner and Fish are all expected to flame out early. And the two best up-and-comer Americans won't be in the tournament this year: Bjorn Fratangelo, who just won the French Open Juniors Championship, opted not to play Wimbledon this year, and Ryan Harrison was just defeated today in the final round of the qualifying tournament, so he won't be in the main bracket unless someone else pulls out with an injury.

It's okay, though, as much as we'd like to see another great American tennis champion come along, we are practically drooling for the second week of Wimbledon to see what epic match-ups will take place between the current top four players, Federer, Nadal, Djokovic and Murray, who all very much want to win. The great story-lines are all in place: Federer very much wants to take his seventh Wimbledon title to prove to all the doubters that his era of greatness is not yet over; Nadal wants to take his third Wimbledon and eleventh Grand Slam title, despite the fact that he claims he has no interest in being called one of the "greatest ever", trust us, he does. Andy Murray is desperate to take his first Wimbledon, providing Great Britain with their first hometown champion since the 1930's, and Djokovic is still smarting from losing at the French Open and having his perfect 2011 match record ended. Look for a very exciting second week on the grass. We can't wait.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

London's The Sunday Times writer Lynn Barber is most famous for being played by Carey Mulligan in the 2009 movie, "An Education", for which Mulligan received an Oscar nomination, but that's not what got Barber death threats last week. No, Barber's famous tales of sleeping with lots and lots of men didn't raise the world's ire, but her recent interview with Rafael Nadal did. The most controversial item in the interview was Barber's hint that Nadal might be gay, but the main jist of the piece was that Nadal is "over-handled" and is leading a bizarro, strangled life of all work and no play. And by no "play", Barber is talking about a sex life. Barber pondered many times in the article how a young, vital 25 year-old can survive without sex, but of course, Barber is only speculating that Nadal is nookie-free. Nadal supposedly has a girlfriend, but no one outside of his very tight inner-circle knows the truth. Anyway, the world-wide fans of Nadal, who just won his sixth French Open title, went beserk, threatening Barber's life and coming to a quick and spirited defense of their idol.

It's funny that Barber's article was published when it was, because after watching Nadal's French Open win last week, we caught ourselves thinking, "Why can't we get more excited about this guy?". We're certainly not about to go down the ill-advised path that Sports Illustrated Magazine trod back in the 1980's with its famous piece on Ivan Lendl, (click here), but we can't help but see the similarities between Nadal and Lendl. Back in the 1980's, the Connors/McEnroe tennis era, which electrified American sports fans and helped to make tennis incredibly popular in the U.S., was coming to an end, and in its place came a new champion, Czechoslovakian Ivan Lendl. Lendl was a great champion, but to say that he played with no emotion and no fireworks is an understatement. He was the embodiment of the stereotype of the robotic Soviet-bloc athlete who wins his games, but in the process wins no fans. To Americans, who like their sports heroes to wear their hearts on their sleeves, Lendl was the anti-Christ.

And now comes Nadal, who plays with a similar machine-like attitude with little emotion. Yes, he jumps in the air and pumps his fists, but other than that, he has absolutely no personality. Unlike other sports stars like Roger Federer and Tiger Woods, Nadal appears in no American t.v. commercials, and he barely speaks to the press. Part of the reason for Nadal's silence is the fact that he struggles to speak English, but even when he does, he has very little of interest to say. Now we're not about to say that only bright, shiny objects catch our attention; we don't need our sports stars to rant and rave, ala John McEnroe, for us to love them. We were big fans of Ivan Lendl back in the day, and he barely even smiled. But an athlete has to do something to endear himself to us, and so we're sorry to say this, but for all of Nadal's success, he just bores us. In fact, there are times when we don't even like him.

Maybe Nadal's lack of popularity in America has something to do with the era in which he's playing. When Lendl played, he proved to be the perfect antithesis for the much fierier McEnroe; in other words, for all those people who wanted to see the spoiled-brat McEnroe get his come-uppance, Lendl was our savior. But when Nadal wins, he more often than not ruins the storyline that most people want to see. Among the top four men in tennis, everyone wants to see Federer win to see how many more Grand Slams he can win; they want to see Andy Murray win to become Great Britain's first tennis champion in eighty years, and they want to see Novak Djokovic win because he's just so darn funny and likable. So when Nadal defeats these guys, instead of receiving the love, he instead earns scorn for ruining the storybook ending we would rather have seen.



It's a shame, because Nadal himself is very likable. He might be a little OCD, and the butt-picking is more than we can take, but the way that he shows concern for his opponents right after he crushes their dreams is genuinely touching. And the fact that he modestly refuses to believe that he is better than Roger Federer, even though he routinely beats him, is a sign of inspiring maturity. But for some reason, it just doesn't work. We just can't work ourselves up to love Nadal, or to cheer for him to win. Maybe one day it will all change; maybe the storyline will shift, and Nadal will become the underdog for whom we'll cheer. But it's going to take a lot for that to happen, and at this point, we wouldn't count on it.

The Future of American Tennis?

One more item of note from this year's French Open. Pittsburgh native Bjorn Fratangelo won the Junior Boys Division of the Grand Slam, becoming the first American man to do so since John McEnroe won it in 1977. His win, coupled with a quickly maturing fellow American on the tour, Ryan Harrison, might just signal the next great wave of American tennis players. Let's hope.

Oh, and in case, you were wondering, yes, Bjorn Fratangelo was named for the tennis great Bjorn Borg, whom the young Fratangelo's father reportedly idolized.

Same Story, Different Day

Well, we thought we were going to see something different at this year's French Open. Novak Djokovic was having the tennis year of his life, even beating Rafael Nadal twice in the finals of clay court tournaments, Nadal was a little shaky on clay for the first time in his career, and Federer was safely out of play in the rare, (for him), #3 position. So the dream story was being written; everyone was hoping for a Djokovic/Nadal French Open final where Djokovic might just do the unthinkable: beat Nadal in the finals.

But it was not to be, and in the end, we reverted back to the same old script of the past few years, with unfortunately, the same sad, disappointing result. Federer defeated Djokovic in the semi-finals, and then met Nadal in the finals today where Federer did what he always does, he just folded under the pressure and just went away. Federer started off the first set like a man possessed, totally controlling the match, racing out to a 5-2 lead. But then, as he always does against Nadal on clay, he just disappeared before our very eyes. Fucker! Nadal won the next eight games in a row, and went on to win the match in four sets. With his victory, Nadal won his sixth French Open, tying the great Bjorn Borg with the most all-time wins at Roland Garros.

We'll never understand how the greatest player in the sport, Federer, can just completely fold against only one player, Nadal, on only one surface, clay. And Federer disappointed us twice this week, first by interrupting the better story which would have been a Djokovic/Nadal final, and then, second, by losing so quickly, once again, in the final. But now that we've gotten our anger out at Roger, we can give him a little credit. He has made the finals of the French Open four times, which would arguably make him currently the second best player on clay, and certainly in the top ten of all time, and he's not the only great player in the sport to have an career achilles heel. McEnroe, Connors and Sampras never won the French, Borg never won the U.S. Open, and Lendl never won Wimbledon. Federer did win the French in 2009, just not against Nadal in the final. So even though Roger definitely disappointed us in the past couple of days, he's still probably the greatest player of all time, and nothing will ever take that away from him. Okay, now, everyone feel better? Right, now, on to Wimbledon!

A Different Kind of History

Well, history is indeed being made at this year's French Open, but not the kind we expected. We really thought Novak Djokovic would extend his unbeaten win streak for 2011, not only breaking John McEnroe's 1984 record of a 42-0 start to a year, but would also win his first French Open title. Wrong.

Unfortunately for Djokovic, it seems that Roger Federer didn't like the fact that he's been considered an afterthought for most of this year, and he took out all his frustrations yesterday in the semi-finals on Novak. Federer beat Djokovic in four sets, ending Novak's win streak at 41 straight matches, and set up another Federer/Nadal Grand Slam final.

What was unusual about the match was the emotion with which Federer played. Always stoic, always one to keep his emotions bottled up on the court, Federer was in rare form yesterday, screaming and yelling at times, leaving no doubt to the thousands of crazed, screaming French fans that this match meant a lot to him. And when he won, Federer held up a "#1" finger, wagging it in the air, almost to say to the tennis world, "Now who's the best player in the world?" If you missed the match, we're sorry, because John McEnroe and many others commented that it was one of the best matches Federer had ever played; and for a storied career like his, that's saying a lot.

There's a lot on the line tomorrow in the Federer/Nadal final. If Nadal wins, he'll tie Bjorn Borg's record of six French titles, and if Federer wins, it will be his second French, and 19th Grand Slam title overall. But it'll be a tough one for Federer, he's never beaten Nadal at the French Open.

History was made today over on the women's side when Li Na defeated Italy's Francesca Schiavone to become the first Chinese player, man or woman, to win a Grand Slam tennis tournament. Something like 50 million Chinese people were watching the match on t.v. today; something tells us that in about five years, there will be a whole pack of young Chinese girls coming up through the ranks of the tennis world.

One last note on Novak Djokovic's win streak. As we said before, he only needed one more win to tie McEnroe's 27 year-old record, and if Fabio Fognini hadn't pulled out of the quarterfinals with an injury, we're almost certain Djokovic would have had it. It's a shame that he lost the record on a fluke.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Wow. Less than 24 hours after we begged someone to defeat Maria Sharapova at The French Open, boom! Li Na granted our wish. Thank you Li Na. And now Li Na is in her second straight Grand Slam final; she lost to Kim Clijsters at this year's Australian Open.

(Click here to read why we so badly wanted Sharapova's demise.)

We also wished for someone to smack the obnoxious Sharapova in the back of the head with a tennis ball, and by damn, Li Na almost granted that wish as well. At one point in their match today, Li Na served the ball, not aware that Sharapova had turned her back on the serve once again. Unfortunately, the ball didn't bean Sharapova in the head, but at least the attempt was made. Thank you, Li Na, you are our goddess.

The Vampire Sharapova Rises... Where's a Wooden Stake When You Need One?

We're down to the semi-finals at The 2011 French Open, and the men and women seemed to have switched places in the tennis world in the past few years. All through the 1980's and 90's, in the four Grand Slam tournaments of the year, you could almost always count on the top four seeded women making the semi-finals, while the men were all over the place, the top seeds losing in the early rounds, putting some strange, unexpected players in the semis. Now it's flipped; while the top four men in the sport, Djokovic, Federer, Nadal and Murray almost always seem to find their places in the semi-finals, this year's French no exception, on the women's side it's a free-for-all. Today's semifinalists on the women's side of The French Open are the 11th seed playing the 5th seed, (Bartoli vs. Schiavone), and the 6th seed playing the 7th seed, (Li vs. Sharapova). The women's tour is definitely going through a transition period, with the past decade's top players, Serena, Venus, Kim Clijsters and Justine Henin leaving the game, with no younger players yet ready to dominate the next era of the sport.

When it comes to Novak Djokovic breaking John McEnroe's 1984 record of a 42-0 win streak to start the year, it just got a little trickier. When Djokovic won his 4th Round match, his record for the year stood at 41-0. His unseeded, almost unknown opponent in the quarterfinals, Fabio Fognini, looked to be an easy win for Djokovic, which would give Djokovic a tie with McEnroe's twenty-seven year-old record. But then Fognini pulled out of the tournament, which put Djokovic in the semi-finals, but Djokovic wasn't given credit for the win, keeping his record for the year at 41-0. So now to tie McEnroe's record, Djokovic has to defeat Roger Federer in the semi-finals, ouch!, and to break the record he'll have to beat, (probably), Rafael Nadal in the finals. Double ouch. It's a tough haul, but something tells us that Djokovic will do it.

And speaking of the women's side of tennis, would someone, please, for the love of god defeat Maria Sharapova? Watching this woman's game is painful; watching her play actually makes us hurt. Sharapova, who already holds three Grand Slam titles, is experiencing a career resurgence after being away from the game for awhile due to injuries. But she has to be the single most obnoxious player in the sport of tennis. It's not the fact that she loudly barks like a seal everytime she strikes the ball that's so annoying, although that is very annoying, no, it's Maria's
"gamesmanship" which is so torturous. Sharapova is determined to slow the game down, (she plays better when the pace of the game is slow), and so after every single point she takes the maximum amount of time allowed before serving. It makes watching her play even less exciting than watching paint dry. But where Maria deserves a slap on the wrist is when she subtly breaks one of the first rules of tennis, which states that the receiver must play at the speed of the server. In other words, when you're receiving, it's your responsiblity to be on the line, ready to receive the serve when the server is ready to serve. Instead, Maria turns her back on the server after every point, pretending to adjust her racket strings, forcing the server to wait. She's not technically breaking a rule, but the tactic is rude and obnoxious. We're hoping that at some point in their semi-final match that Li Na will go ahead and serve the ball to a back-turned Sharapova and whack her right in the back of the head. It might not correct Sharapova's unsportsmanlike behavior, but it would certainly make us feel better. Come on, Li, we're begging you!

The Greatest "Trivalry" in Sports

Novak Djokovic beat Richard Gasquet in straight sets today at The French Open, putting him at 41-0 for the year, and just one win away from tying John McEnroe's record of starting the 1984 year with a 42-0 win streak.

But Djokovic isn't the only man making tennis history this week. There's still another player in the tournament you might have heard of named Roger Federer. Federer defeated his Swiss countrymen, Stanislas Wawrinka today, putting him in the quarterfinals, and remarkably, he has now made at least the quarterfinals of 28 straight Grand Slam tournaments. That's an incredible record. If not for Federer's two losses last year in the quarterfinals of the French and Wimbledon, Federer would have made 28 straight Major semi-finals.

But Federer's 28 quarterfinals pales in comparison to the all-time record, held by Chris Evert. Evert, in a stretch from 1971 to 1983, made at least the semi-finals of all 34 Grand Slam tournaments she entered. That's a stunning achievement in sport.

(chris evert)

With Djokovic now finally beating Federer and Nadal consistently, we have a three-way domination of the sport of tennis. Mary Carillo, commenting today at The French Open for NBC, coined a new term for the Federer/Nadal/Djokovic stranglehold on tennis; she said that "we no longer have a rivalry in tennis, we have a 'trivalry'." Clever.

Nearly the Greatest Upset of All Time

Yesterday at The French Open we very nearly witnessed the greatest upset in the history of tennis. Rafael Nadal has played in The French Open six times, winning it five times. If he wins this year, he'll equal Bjorn Borg's record of six French Open championships. To say that he's the greatest clay court tennis player of all time is probably undeniable at this point. Yesterday, he played his first round match against unseeded American John Isner, who became famous at last year's Wimbledon for playing the longest match in tennis history. No problem for Nadal, right? Not so fast.


Isner played what might have been the match of his life, at one point leading Nadal two sets to one. Nadal was in trouble. The match went the distance, Nadal narrowly winning the fifth set at 6-4. If five-time champion Nadal had lost in the first round of Roland Garros, the loss would have been historic and jaw-droppingly shocking. If you ask us, Nadal's shaky play shows that he is clearly rattled by his two recent losses on clay to a storming Novak Djokovic.




On a better note for American tennis, we said last year, (click here), that Shreveport, Louisiana native, Ryan Harrison, might be the future of tennis for a struggling American program. Harrison attempted to get into this year's French Open by winning his way through the qualifying tournament, but he lost. But then when Benjamin Becker from the withdrew from the tournament with an injury, Harrison got his spot. Unfortunately for Harrison, he had to play Sweden's Robin Soderling, who was in the finals of the two most recent French Open's, where he defeated Nadal one year and Federer the next. No one expected Harrison to win, but he did take the second set from Soderling before he lost the match, and he showed remarkable composure and confidence.



Unless something goes wrong in the future, it looks like 19 year-old Ryan Harrison does indeed have all the skills to become the next great American champion. But although Harrison's tennis career is on the rise, we would probably advise Harrison to learn some other languages if he wants to have any friends on the world tennis circuit, because it doesn't look like he's going to have the company of any other American men.

Can He Do It?

The remarkable sports story of Novak Djokovic just gets better and better.

Here's the deal, for all of you who don't follow tennis. For the past decade, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal have dominated the men's game, with everyone else playing the roles of "afterthoughts", or just slightly annoying people who Federer and Nadal had to beat to make it to the finals of another tournament. First Federer was unbeatable for two or three years, then Nadal finally, slowly figured out how to beat Federer, first on clay, then on every other surface. And so for the past two years, Federer and Nadal have jockeyed back and forth for the #1 ranking. And even though Novak Djokovic was in third place in the rankings behind Federer and Nadal, he was always a very distant third, not really a contender to ever consistently beat the top two players.

And then something happened this year, Djokovic is unbeaten for the year, and has now defeated Federer and Nadal three and four times, respectively. How did this happen, you might ask. Well, Federer got a little older and his invincibility began to wain, and while Nadal had spent so much time figuring out how to take down Federer, he evidently didn't pay much attention to the games of others, namely, Djokovic, coming up behind him. But Djokovic also played a part in gaining his new status as the best player in the game. He matured; he stopped throwing his shirt into the stands after matches, and he stopped imitating the other players to laughs from the crowds. And with his new mental and emotional maturity seemed to come a new maturity in his game.

One week ago, at the Madrid Open, Djokovic did the unthinkable, he beat Nadal on his unbeatable surface of clay, in Nadal's home country, no less. But it was even more unthinkable that Djokovic could beat in today's Italian Open final, which would mean that he would defeat Nadal, the best clay court player in the world, in two clay tournaments, back to back. But he did it. And not only did he do it, but today, he made Nadal look like a struggling amateur.

And, of course, as we've been saying for the past few days, at stake today was Djokovic's unbeaten win streak for 2011, which after today's win, now stands at 37 straight matches. He's only five matches away from tying John McEnroe's record of 42 straight matches to start the 1984 season.

Next up for Djokovic is The French Open, the second Grand Slam tournament of the year, which starts one week from today. All eyes will be on Novak next week in Paris, not only to see if he can break McEnroe's record, but also to see if can win his first French Open. But also going for the win in Paris will be Rafael Nadal, which would be his sixth championship at Roland Garros Stadium and would tie him with the great Bjorn Borg for winning the most French Opens. So guess which two players we want to see in the finals? Oh yeah, let's pray for tennis heaven next week.

The Streak Continues, Part II

Yes, Novak Djokovic looks as crazy as a Glenn Beck fan who just listened to Fox News call Obama a socialist in this shot from today's Italian Open in Rome, but it's fitting, he's on one, very crazy win streak. Djokovic narrowly defeated Andy Murray in the semifinals just a few minutes ago, after being two points from defeat at one point in the third set, and now his win streak for the year stands at 36-0. He's just six wins away from tying John McEnroe's all-time year-opening win streak of 42-0 in 1984. The only bad news is that now, Djokovic, has to play Rafael Nadal, the best clay court player in the world, in the finals of the tournament less than 24 hours from now.

Going For The Record

We're nearing the end of the Italian Open Tennis Championship, and Novak Djokovic is, as we write this, in the quarterfinals, and his win streak for the year now stands at 34-0. Djokovic now trails only John McEnroe for having the best all-time start to a tennis year; McEnroe started the 1984 year with a 42-0 record. To overtake McEnroe's record, Djokovic will have to win this week's Italian Open, which probably means he'll have to play Nadal in the finals, and he'll have to make it to the quarterfinals of next week's biggie, The French Open. We're rooting for the very likable Djokovic; he spent all those years in the shadows of Federer and Nadal, so it's satisfying to see him finally break through and take the spotlight for himself, not to mention a possible #1 world ranking.





There's a little jinx danger, though, in comparing Djokovic to McEnroe's fabled year of 1984 and his run of 42 straight matches, primarily because of what happened in McEnroe's 43rd match of that year. McEnroe had never won the French Open, and in his 43rd match of the year, he found himself in the finals of the Grand Slam tournament, with a 2-0 sets lead over Ivan Lendl, who had yet to win his first Grand Slam tournament. It looked like a done deal, McEnroe would win the French, and combined with his later wins that year at Wimbledon and the U.S. Open, would have given McEnroe one of the greatest years of all time in tennis. (He wouldn't have won the Grand Slam because he didn't compete that year in the Australian Open). But suddenly the wheels came off. Lendl came back from two sets down to steal the championship match away from McEnroe, dashing McEnroe's dreams of a French Open title, which no American man had won since 1955, and ended his win streak that year at 42 straight matches. After that French loss, McEnroe won his next 21 matches, which coupled with a win at the French, would have given him a stunning win streak of 64 matches, a record which probably never would have been broken.

UPDATE: Make that 35-0. Djokovic won his match today against Robin Soderling. Djokovic is now only seven matches away from tying McEnroe's record.

Fuzzy Yellow Balls

And speaking of tennis stars, Spanish tennis star Fernando Verdasco might not have ended the year in the top 8, but he did win another contest, the genetic lottery. This guy is not only great looking, but defies the stereotypical skinny tennis player body by having a frame packed with solid muscle, and luckily for us, he doesn't mind showing it off. Earlier this year Verdasco even worked as a model in a Calvin Klein underwear campaign. Oh, and by the way, Verdasco just missed being at the ATP World Tour Finals as he is currently ranked #9 in the world.
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Nadal Wins and We're Trying to Care

Okay, okay, we'll admit it. We didn't make a post when Rafael Nadal won his second Wimbledon crown on Sunday. We tried to care about the match, but it was difficult to muster up the enthusiasm needed to type a few words. After the past three years of Men's Wimbledon finals which were all incredibly exciting, classic nail-biters, it was hard to love a match in which an up-and-comer goes down in straight sets to an overwhelming favorite.
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The match had all the makings of something that could be interesting, Tomas Berdych had taken out the world #1 and #3, in Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic, and so, on paper, at least, one would think he would give the world #2, Nadal, a good match. But it wasn't to be.
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And so we congratulate Rafael Nadal on winning his second Wimbledon crown, his eighth Grand Slam title, and his return to the #1 ranking in the world, but here's to hoping that next year's Wimbledon final will be a little more exciting.
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(roger federer and rafael nadal)

And the World Yawned

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In one of the most boring matches in Wimbledon history, Serena Williams took her fourth All England Championship today over Russian Vera Svonoreva in straight sets. We like Serena, and we're happy for her win, but despite the fawning tennis commentators' glee over "what the Williams sisters have brought to the game", what the Williams sisters have brought to the game is exactly one of the reasons why tennis is fast losing popularity in America as a sport. The Williams sisters, Venus and Serena, have dominated the women's game for a decade now, but they did it by serving harder than the other women and simply by whacking the hell out of the ball with a screaming, (literally), ferocity. Deft touch? No. A beautiful net game? No. Finesse of any kind? Uh... no. Their games are ugly and brutish, and they rob the women's game of any beauty or wily finesse, which used to be the only reason to watch women's tennis. They've succeeded in doing to women's tennis what Pete Sampras did to men's tennis, which was to make it all about who could serve the hardest, and thereby making the game incredibly boring. Luckily for men's tennis, someone named Roger Federer came along right after Sampras and reminded the world that tennis is at its most entertaining when a player can alternate power with soft touch and really smart groundstrokes of various speeds. Federer will be remembered most for how he moved about the court like a graceful dancer, as if he was floating on air, unlike Serena Williams who, at times, awkwardly clomps about the court like a Clydesdale horse. Luckily, the Williams Sisters, at 30 and 28, are nearing the end of their careers, and here's to hoping that some new female champions will emerge who will bring some interest back to women's tennis. And please, Jesus, let's hope that tomorrow's men's final between Rafael Nadal and Tomas Berdych will be more interesting.

I Think I've Seen You Somewhere

(clockwise from upper left: Kvitova, Pironkova, Svonareva)

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Petra Kvitova, Vera Svonareva and Tsvetana Pironkova. Ever heard of these women? Do their names ring a bell? Probably not, but you're looking at three of the four semi-finalists at Wimbledon 2010. On the women's side, it's one of those weird years in which all the top players, Venus Williams, Cljisters, Henin, Sharapova, Jankovic, were defeated, and three almost virtual unknowns made it to the end.

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The 25 year-old Russian, Svonareva, is the best known of the three, already having had some success in the women's game; she made it to the semi-finals of the Australian Open in 2009, and she's currently ranked 21st in the world. But the other two came out of nowhere. Bulgarian Pironkova, ranked 81st in the world, has never made it past the 2nd Round of a Grand Slam. She was given almost no chance against 5-time Wimbledon champ, Venus Williams, in their quarterfinal match today, but Pironkova played a brilliant tactical game. She gave the power hitter Williams absolutely no power, lobbing soft ground strokes at her the entire match, which unsettled the American, never letting her find her footing in the match. Kvitova, the 21 year-old Czech is ranked 62 in the world and has never before been past the 4th round of a Grand Slam.

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But guess who's waiting in the wings for these three lucky gals? World #1 and the player with the fastest serve in the women's game, Serena Williams. Why don't we just end the women's championship today and hand Serena her 14th Grand Slam title?

Don't Hold Your Breath

At Wimbledon 2010, we're into the quarterfinals.

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(roddick humilated... again)

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It's been a crazy championship so far; in the very first match, defending champion Roger Federer was almost eliminated, and had to come back from two sets down to win. American James Blake went out in the first Round, but not before cursing at Pam Shriver, who was commenting for television in the nearby stands, and yelled for her to shut up. Now, that's class.

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(james blake)

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Next up was the historic and now famous match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut which took eleven hours to complete. The match stretched out over three days and ended with a fifth set score of 70 games to 68 for Isner. Isner proceeded to the next round where he promptly went out in straight sets.

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Venus and Serena Williams are looking very strong, probably heading for another final against each other, unless Kim Cljisters can pull off an upset against Venus. Meanwhile the American men have, as usual, have fallen faster than a whore's panties at a dollar night strip club. Most embarrassingly, Roddick was eliminated today by a man ranked 82nd in the world who had never before made it past the second round of Wimbledon. Unless someone pulls a rabbit out of a hat, look for Federer and Nadal in another final.

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(the gigantic, 6'9" john isner)

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Sadly, no one has any answers for why American men's tennis is so bad, and seems to be getting worse, with no up-and-comer's in sight. Roddick will go down in history as one of the most over-ranked underachievers in American sport; he came onto the scene with a big serve, but once his opponents figured out how to return it, he had no other game. Fellow Americans James Blake, Mardy Fish and Robby Ginepri might as well retire now; they're never going to achieve anything spectacular in a grand slam championship. Many are pointing to John Isner and Sam Querrey as America's next best hopes, but don't hold your breath. It took Isner five sets and 138 games in a fifth set before he finally managed to break the serve of a guy ranked 149th in the world. Of all the American men, Sam Querrey looks like he might possibly have a game which could take him into the Top Ten in the world, but both and he and Isner are already in their mid-twenties, an age by which most tennis greats have already accomplished grand slam success. It might be too late for them.

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(sam querrey)

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One might look to the dress of the American men for clues. Okay, we know what you're thinking, "What does fashion have to do with sport?" A lot, actually. Notice how the attire of the top players, Federer, Nadal, Djokovic, Murray, is tailored and fits their bodies well. Even after long matches, these players still look well put together. Meanwhile, the American men show up in big, baggy, oversized shirts and shorts which are so big they look like something Baby Huey might have donned, and after a few sets, the Americans look completely bedraggled. At the top levels of any world class sport, the mental game becomes as important as the physical, and when one is dressed well, one exudes confidence. But when one looks like some sloppy 12 year-old whose Mommy hasn't washed his clothes in a couple of days, one doesn't exactly inspire fear in his opponent. Instead he looks like he doesn't care about himself or his game. No wonder no one is no longer frightened to play Andy Roddick or any of the other American men.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

As Wimbledon and the tennis world was giddily celebrating the marathon first round match between American John Isner and Frenchman Nicolas Mahut, we couldn't help but think something was amiss.

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Isner and Mahut's match went 5 sets, the fifth set ended with Isner's win at 70 games to 68 games. (Wimbledon, unlike the U.S. Open, does not allow a tie break for a final set.) The match took place over three days and took, in total, 11 hours and 5 minutes to complete. After the match, Wimbledon officials presented awards to the players and forced them to pose for photos beside the scoreboard with the umpire, and a woman in a pink blouse who is evidently Helen Mirren's stunt double.

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Anyway, the whole world was going on and on about what a great match it was and what a great accomplishment it was, blah, blah, blah. We watched part of the final set, and we couldn't help but think, there is something really wrong when a player's game is so weak that he can't ever break his opponent's serve. To win in tennis at the top level, you have to be able to have a strong defensive game, to break your opponent's serve. The record-setting match said more about the weakness in Isner's game than his future as a tennis great.