Grammy Awards 2010 - Part I

Last night were the 2010 Grammy Awards. Normally the Grammys are one of our favorite awards shows of the year; it's one of the few major awards shows which realizes that the awards don't really matter, it's the musical performances that people tune in to see. The performances usually make the show a blockbuster event and provides at least one or two classic showstoppers that are remembered and talked about for years to come. Uh... not this year.

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(lady gaga opened the show)

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To say that this year's show was underwhelming is an undertatement. Between the numbers that resembled Broadway dance numbers, second rate Cirque du Soleil acts and the ones whose singers couldn't sing in tune, it's no wonder the most talked about event was Michael Jackson's children making a speech. Whatever happened to sex, drugs and rock and roll? Whatever happened to the singers and bands that could blow us away with their sheer talent, their overwhelming sexual charisma and their monstrous musical abilities? No wonder the music industry is hanging onto survival by its fingernails. The music business needs real talent as desperately as the cast of "The Jersey Shore" needs a good eyebrow threading.

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Lady Gaga opened the show dressed in a giant, green, Lucky Charms marshmellow outfit with an over-the-top set and a line of dancing chorus boys that was... well, how do we put this? We haven't seen anything so campy since Ryan Seacrest's mouthwash commercial in which he's desired as a sex object by women. The number ended with twin pianos rolled out on the stage, Lady Gaga at one, and Elton John on the other, in matching outfits no less, performing a mashup of her "Speechless" and his "Your Song". Entertaining? Yes. Fun performance art? Yes. Great rock and roll? Uh... no.

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Stephen Colbert followed Lady Gaga with a comedic monologue that was actually pretty funny. At one point, he said, "We are here tonight to celebrate what I believe is our most precious right, the right of celebrities to congratulate each other." Hilarious, but that one seemed lost on the self-absorbed crowd.

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The "Song of the Year" trophy went to Beyonce's "Single Ladies". The Song of the Year award goes to the songwriter, not the singer. You knew this gargantuanally popular song was going to get some kind of trophy, but Song of the Year? Really? Oh yeah, we're sure the lyrics of "Single Ladies" will stand up to the other great, classic Songs of the Year, i.e. "Killing Me Softly With His Song", "Send in the Clowns" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water". Put a ring on that one, Knowles.

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A little bit later Taylor Swift's "Fearless" won for "Best Country Album". Taylor, opened mouthed and gasping, climbed the stage and said, "Omg, this is the first time I've ever climbed those stairs and accepted a Grammy on national t.v.!" We very nearly vomited. Listen, we love the cute, little country princess as much as the next person, (even though her music is hardly

"country"), but at this point, the girl has won every major award known to music, including the prestigious Country Music Association's "Entertainer of the Year", a feat unheard of for someone so young. So the whole, "oh, wow, I didn't expect this, and I'm so shocked I might wet myself" routine is getting a little tiresome.

Grammy Awards - Part IV

One of the highlights of the night was seeing, and hearing, the incredible legend, Leon Russell, when he performed with the Zac Brown Band. It wasn't a show stopper, but anytime Leon Russell gets to perform, it's worth the price of admission. Take notes, Pink and Knowles.



Miss Seacrest took the stage to introduce, in his words, the
"phenomenon" that is Taylor Swift. (Phenomenon? The only phenomenon is the fact that Ryan Seacrest has a career.) Swift dueted with another legend, Stevie Nicks. It started great; they sang one of Fleetwood Mac's classics, "Riannon", but then they transitioned into one of Taylor's teen ditties, and the train went off the tracks. The song wasn't so bad, but Taylor oddly couldn't hit a note. Nerves, inexperience, her first period? We don't know, but we found ourselves wishing Christine McVie would come on stage, smack the shit out of the teen queen and let Stevie rock it alone. If only!

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Lionel Ritchie introduced the Michael Jackson tribute which consisted of a video shown in 3-D while Celine Dion, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Usher and Smokey Robinson sang. The song was fantastic, but watching the number was unnerving. CBS flashed a message to "put on your 3-D glasses" just before the video started. Did we miss something? Was CBS suppose to mail everyone in America a pair of 3-D's? It's okay, the sight of Jennifer Hudson's gigantic ta-ta's just inches from our faces might have been too much to take.
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A little later, another all-time legend, Robert Flack took the stage to sing with Maxwell. They just don't make'em like Miss Flack anymore, seriously, and it was a treat to hear her sing her classic, "Where is the Love?" Dare we say it again? Take notes, Pink and Knowles.

Grammy Awards - Part V

To us, the highlight of the night was the Andrea Bocelli and Mary J. Blige duet of "Bridge Over Troubled Water". Their vocals, Bocelli's soaring pop operatic style and Blige's grittier, urban, gospel-tinged laments made for a breathtaking and incredibly original coupling. That kind of pairing could have easily gone wrong with disastrous results, but Blige won new respect from us as a vocalist. She not only matched Bocelli, note for note, but even managed to sing harmony, finding the perfect places to underscore his grander notes. It was amazing.

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And then, another low note. Eminem, evidently back from a much-welcomed obscurity, peformed some god-awful piece of crap with Lil Wayne. The sound kept going off and on, off and on, at first we thought it was a technical glitch, then we thought it was a network censoring of offensive lyrics, but later we decided maybe someone at CBS actually just had a level of good taste in music.

Another highlight was the tribute to rock pioneer and music legend, Les Paul. Legendary guitarist Jeff Beck played guitar on Paul's classic "How High the Moon", while Irish singer Imelda May provided the Mary Ford vocal. It was a fantastic moment; great song, great performance.

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Okay, we have to admit that late in the show, we got so bored with the lackluster performances that we started flipping channels. But we made it back in time to see who would win Song of the Year and Album of the Year, the biggies. Kings of Leon won the Song award for "Use Somebody ", and Taylor Swift, yes, Miss Seacrest's
"phenomenon", won Album of the Year for her "Fearless". It didn't really matter to us, we didn't think any of the album nominees were that great, but many, and we do many people, feel that Lady Gaga should have won for the best album.

Kanye and His America

How funny. We just wrote, yesterday, about the silliness of the Emmy Awards, and then, later that night came the MTV Video Music Awards, which featured a now infamous incident involving Kanye West and Taylor Swift. As Miss Swift was making her acceptance speech for an award, Kanye West, (some say drunk on Hennessy), stormed the stage, took the microphone from Miss Swift and proceeded to shout that Beyonce should have won the award instead of Taylor Swift. The outcry from celebrities and the general public was swift and vicious against Kanye West.
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Thousands across the country took to their Facebook's, MySpace's, Twitter's and Yahoo Comments Section's to decry Kanye West, and in many ways, their comments and outpouring of hatred, not to mention misspelled words, was far scarier than anything Kanye West did. Many remarks were filled with volatile hatred, ignorance and outright racism. Some commenters were bold in their use of the "N" word. And the fights which erupted between some of the commenters was disturbing.
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What Kanye West did was stupid, no doubt, but the public's reaction to the incident was just as bad, if not worse. The incident and the reaction to it paints an unflattering picture of a society overly obsessed with celebrity, and the popular media's cynical stoking of that obsession for ratings and profit.
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We need to get a grip, people. First, the MTV Video Music Awards started years ago almost as a joke, as a spoof of "real" awards shows; they were really just a way to get attention and ratings for a new, struggling music channel. No one took them seriously. But now, twenty years later, all the in-house, tongue-in-cheek humor is gone, and the people receiving these Moon Men act as if they've just been given a Nobel Prize, or even an Emmy! The VMA's are a barely disguised way for MTV and the artists and their record companies to promote themselves. The "awards" aspect of the show was included simply as a way to tone down the immodest act of self-promotion. We can't believe that adults even watch the show; the show is clearly designed for 10 year old girls. For grown adults to get visibly upset about anything associated with the VMA's is something akin to being upset when they change the design of the plastic furniture in your Barbie Dream House.
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So maybe MTV should eliminate the silliness of handing out awards and just stage the show as one big, ultimate music concert. MTV would get the same ratings, the artists would reap the same publicity, and Kanye West could work out his ego-driven, narcississitic psychological disorders by performing for the audience's applause instead of for some ridiculous trophy.
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But more importantly, we should all grow up a bit. Uncontrolled rage is one thing, but why not put it to some good use? Instead of railing like a lunatic about an empty-headed, vacuous, semi-talented celebrity, point that rage at the army of lobbyists who are being paid millions to currently storm the halls of Congress to derail health care reform and the reform of Wall Street and the banking system practices which almost destroyed our economy. And lastly, if you are going to leave comments on the internet for the whole world to see, learn to spell. You'll get more respect that way.

2009 Grammys - 8:53 pm

Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus duet. Taylor is great, Miley is, well... what's the word we're looking for? Bad. That's it.
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Actually, Miley does manage to hit some decent notes, sort of, which bests Timberlake's earlier performance by a wide margin. Let's see now, that brings the tally of tween dreams who have sung better tonight than Timberlake: Duffy, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. If the Jonas Brothers outsing him later tonight, we're really going to be embarrassed for Miss Timberlake.

(miley cyrus and taylor swift)

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Robert Plant and Alison Krauss win the award for "Best Pop Duet" for "Rich Woman ". No surprise here, they're expected to haul in the awards tonight.